A
female
age
41-50,
*s. Talula
writes:I was seeing a guy for nearly 6 months, he found me through this social sites because we had mutual friends. He e-mailed me out of the blue and became friendly and eventually asked me out on a date. While we were dating he's been really sweet, always in contact and we saw each togher twice a week (we're both busy people). From the beginning he made it clear that he didn't want anything serious, I wasn't looking for IT before I met him so I knew what I singed up for.Eventually I started to question where I stood with him and later on he said that he was not prepared to give up any hobbies so we could spend more time together, not that I was asking him to give anything up nor to spend more time with me, I was happy the way things were. After all we weren't getting any serious right?To cut the story short, he split up with me over chat! and never saw him since, it's now been a month. I was a way and arrived expecting to see him but we split that same nite I came back to the country. He said he couldn't see himself falling for me wish there could be more and that it would be selfish of him if he kept me and that I would be wasting my time, he also said he really liked me and said I deserved someone that worship me becasue I'm THIS attactive, fun, interesting girl. Since the breakup I've accepted and even understood why he came up with the decision. I also felt confused because I've been in 2 longer relationships and I cannot remember feeling this upset. Is it because I've been dumped?I've now de-cluttered and I am trying my hardest moving on, see my friends alot, I've been out on dates and I'm in a process to chace career very good right? Although, recently I backslid and e-mailed this EX. I felt awful as I thought I was doing so well, I haven't seen him or rang him. All post-break up contact had been e-mails (not drunk or angry messages)5 to be exact in which 4 he replied to.I don't know why I feel so bad about this last message, he hasn't replied and I know there is no slight chance us getting back together. At one point I wanted him to reply so I can ignore him and make him aware I'm ignoring him...I really feel that I'm back to where I started, even worse now coz I feel that i've let myself down, i even obsessively checked my e-mail account which i havent done at the beginning of the break up. I do not know how to deal with it now. I don't understand why i feel this way or am I giving myself hard time?SOS
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broke up, drunk, split up Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ms. Talula +, writes (24 October 2009):
Ms. Talula is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your replies. Three months on and I am happy to say that I'm over it. I've moved on and everyday is a happy day even when it rains lol I managed to avoid drunken msgs and kept our friendship civil, I do feel like the better person.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2009): It could be worse. What if a guy liked you and wouldn't leave you alone, stalking you and smashing your house up and standing over you and you had to get police and move and lawyers etc... Right from the beginning this guy was not into you and he's right, each to his own. Others will adore you. When a guy likes you, he wants to see you all the time and tell you, right from the beginning, and start making plans together. Start thinking of some bad things about him and that it was for the best for the better one that comes along. He's not great. He strung you along too long. God knows why. He's a bit of a dork doing that.
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A
female
reader, beachbabe  +, writes (18 August 2009):
 Girl, it sounds like you still love him.
You need to let him go, no contact, and if he comes back to you he is yours. if not move on.
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