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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Is it normal that I can't make my boyfriend cum by hand or oral? I can get him really really aroused but he always ends up finshing off himself by hand or by sex. I am pretty sure I'm doing it right, going fast etc, but I go for so long I just get completley exhausted and he has to take over. He thinks its fine but I wish I could make him cum! He lasts ages during sex generally so maybe its just the way he is? The thing is, this happened with my last boyfriend too!! So I'm starting to think its just me. Is this a common thing? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Having Problems???  +, writes (29 July 2008):
hi its a bit harder to make a guy cum if he has sex often as he is used to it so it takes a while but if he gets "it" less it should be easier im afraid thats awl i can help u with as im not sure of any medical things that could be wrong, either that or thats just wot he likes to do guys eh! lol x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2008): I don't know if it is normal or not, but it is not anything to be concerned about. My wife very seldom gets me off with oral sex without me helping and then letting her finish at the end. She succeeds maybe 1 time in 30 by herself and I have to get really turned on for it to happen. However, a previous girlfriend from many years ago was really good at it and had no trouble getting me off with oral alone. My wife used to feel bad about it, as she knew about it. Once I convinced her that it was still much better with her, she hasn't cared about the other woman for many years. It's much more important to me that someone I love and who loves me is doing it than how good she is at it.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (29 July 2008):
 It ain't just about speed but about pressure.
If he lasts a long time he may have trained himself that way because it is a common belief that stamina is what counts the most in pleasing a woman. Wether this is correct or not is somehting you seem to answer, how happy are you that apparently your attempts ain't enough? Would a guy who comes in a reasonably amount of time but instead of stamina uses skill to please both people be better?
Oh well that is another topic.
Is it normal? In porn? Yeah. In real life, well the question is various forms keeps popping up here so you are hardly the only one with this problem.
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A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (29 July 2008):
 It could be you or him or a bit of both. Everyone is different. The bloke I saw before I met my hubbie I could make cum in 5-10 mins max by just sucking the tip of his penis. I was with my ex hubbie 17 years and never once managed it. I cant make new hubbie come with oral but can easily by hand, he likes deep stimulation orally and he is too well endowed and I choke. On average ive had a 50% success rates with blokes so I dont worry about it.
The best thing to do is get your bloke to direct you verbally as sometimes we think its ok but blokes dont always tell us its too fast or too slow or not quite in the right place etc.
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A
male
reader, Mark25 +, writes (29 July 2008):
 You're not on your own. I had a girlfriend who didn't give good handjobs and I had to finish myself off. It wasn't her fault, though and this isn't yours. The only person who knows our body is ourselves. We know what works and what doesn't. Men have had years perfecting the art of wanking whereas women haven't. Women often say that men can't find their g-spot but women can find it instantly and give themselves great orgasms. It's because they know their own bodies and what gets them going. It's the same principle with men.You've got to ask your boyfriend what works for him. You're not a mind reader. It's not just a matter of going fast. There's sensitive spots to touch. Try going slow and then building up to a fast speed and then slowing down again. Ultimately, the only way you'll know how to do it right is by asking him. Communication is always the key. There is also the chance that he enjoys you watching him finishing himself off. Wanking in front of a woman is really sexy and a big turn on. Hope I could help. If you want anymore advice feel free to write in again. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (29 July 2008):
 here is a website on fellatio (blowjobs) it tells you things you can do to spicen it up http://www.sexinfo101.com/pm_fellatio.shtml hope that helps aphex xx
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A
male
reader, StudentOfLife  +, writes (29 July 2008):
 Well, I like a girl who talks dirty when doing it by hand. Just the hand itself doesn't do much to me, then again Maybe they didn't know how.
That's just me though.
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