A
female
age
30-35,
*RAVENINI
writes:dear cupid me and my boyfriend having been going out now for a couple of months he's my first boyfriend i never had one before he nice sweet and loving to me.well yesterday we decided to have sex like he knows it my first time he's my first ..so were done afterwards he's like o it dosent feel tite and you didnt bleed are you really a virgin or did you lose it to some one else..iv'e told him nothing but the truth why is he acting like this i would of though he respected me as a women why show disrespect now around this point..what should i do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2010): I only lost my virginity within the last year and I just want to say that I have never experienced bleeding during sex. I have had just a really tiny bit afterwards that I would notice when I would go to the bathroom.
Reasons to not have bleeding have mostly been covered in the post before me, but also if you use tampons that may have broken your hymen at some point. All women are different, some may be "tighter" than others, etc. Talking to him about it, if he will listen, is your best option and see if the two of you can get past it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2010): It is also possible that he didnt "pop your cherry" completely. When i first had sex i didnt bleed. When i had sex for the second time it was with another guy and i bled. Before we were able to have sex i had to go to the doctor because everytime he tried inseertion it felt like i was losing my virginity again. The doctor told me that the first guy didnt fully pop my hymen. It made me feel better because i didnt really want to lose my virginity to that guy anyway.
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (18 June 2010):
 He is being a jerk and since he already slept with you now he is acting like a fool. Let him know how his remarks are hurting you, and don't allow him and his accusations to make you feel bad.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2010): You have to understand that everybody is fed the belief that a virgin is 'tight' and that you bleed your first time. This isn't always true. I didn't bleed. The bleeding comes from the breaking of the hymen and this can be broken through so many other things, such as bike riding and horse riding etc that you don't always bleed the first time you have sex. It is insensitive to suggest that you are not "tight enough" or "tight" in general. Perhaps you should just discuss this with him? Explain to him that you were a virgin and if you're not tight that isn't your fault but he has no right to accuse you of anything because of this. Just talk to him, see if you can move past this. Practise flexing the muscles in your lower regions, see if that makes them any 'tighter' or just stronger in general.
Really all you need to do is talk to him and see what he says. If he doesn't believe you and won't listen to reason then what you do after that is up to you.
Sometimes people's bodies just aren't suited to one another. One person may be too small, too large, too tight, too long, too big or too skinny in the lower areas of the body when it comes to sexual encounters. There's not really anything you can do to change this, but complaining about it during sex isn't nice, especially during your first time, so try to discuss the situation with him and see if you can move on from it.
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