A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi i recently lost my dad and it was a shock. I'm not dealing with this well at all and need to see a counselor. If this doesn't work i may need to go on to take anti-depressants as my doctor thinks i'm depressed. My partner does not understand and is making things more difficult. I've asked him to read up on this subject but he just thinks it is silly and that I'm being silly. I cannot go out after dark now and he keeps pushing me to take the dog out for a walk. I don't like having sex as it makes me nervous. I don't know what to do. Please can you help?
View related questions:
depressed Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2011): Odds are really good that you are depressed... it's totally understandable. Most of the drugs that they give you these days do nothing more than balance the chemicals in your brain. Don't be too worried about these, you can tapper off of them easily, just don't do it w/o your Dr's knowing it, as sometimes depressed people feel so good that they decide they don't need the meds that are making them feel good...Your BF sounds like something is coloring his opinion of the situation. If prior to his death, your dad and you didn't have a good relationship and you told him things that might make him have a hard time feeling empathy towards him, that's one thing... (and something he needs to recognize and break out of), if however, you had a decent relationship with your dad, then he's a jerk.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2011): Try going to a support group to discuss your feelings with people who have gone through the same thing that you have. If medicine helps you then maybe that is what you need right now but try talk therapy first. Also, keep a journal near your bed this way when you have a hard time sleeping you can write about your feelings or your memories about your father. Try writing a letter to your father and how you feel about him, what did you love about him, what do you remember about him,etc.
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 February 2011):
 It could be best that you take a break from your boyfriend. If you live together you could move to live with a friend, or your family and relatives for a while until you decide what to do. Talking to your counselor about this will help as well, to talk not only about your father but also about what kind of support you are receiving and your relationship.
Your partner is not understanding, and is ridiculing your emotions. That is horrible of him. And it shows a horrible lack of empathy and care from his side. Perhaps he doesn't mean harm and thinks this is how you're supposed to "support" someone. He might have been brought up under such circumstances and lost his ability for empathy, or never learned how to support someone. However it is not your job to teach him. He must learn this on his own, and if he can't smarten up about it fast then he will do more damage to you than good.
For the time being it could be best to take a step away from him and stay with someone else who can give you the support you need.
...............................
A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (14 February 2011):
 Ask your partner to come along to the councelling session with you. If he is there sharing your pain, then he will truly understand how hard this is for you. Ask him to go with you for moral support, as you dont think you can do this alone.
Get those sessions sorted as soon as possible, and try to talk to as many people as you can about it. It'll get better, trust me, i've been through this too.
...............................
|
