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female
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anonymous
writes: Have you ever had mixed feelings for the one you're with? I think it's because i am not used to being treated this good because it happened to the other 2 nice guys i was with. It's like i try to find the littlest things about them that i don't like. What they wear, how they walk ..little things to make me believe i want more. and the mixed feelings i mean are like sometimes you feel like you want to be with him and others you don't. Have any of you ever been like this but got through it? How long did it take and what did you do to get through it? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, JulietteElise  +, writes (6 February 2007):
 it seems like you may have commitment issues. In small amounts this can be natural as well, but it sounds more like you are scared of commitment and are thus looking for a "way out," any reason so you don't have to be "trapped." Weither its from not wanting to feel vulnerable from opening up, risk haveing a broken heart by brakeing up with them, or just perpetcualy thinking there still might be soemone better out there, or all of the above when you are in a relationship you feel is good. Anouther reason for being afraid of commitmetmint is from not feeling like you are good enough, and thus wanting to break it off before they find out how "horrible" you really are. Do you feel loveing and passionate, warm and connected one minute, and withdrawn, withholding and downright cold the next? You mention that you do, but i am wondering if it is in extrems like this. Many people with commitment issues are like this, going back and forth, and might even seem to want to have it both ways. If you think you might have this problem, there are ways of fixing it. There's lots of usefull information sites out there on the web about fears of commitment in relationships, how to know if you or soemone else might have it, and how to learn to overcome it. A counslor is also a good source for helping you through this. I hope i was helpfull to you. (and i've based this on how you said you were with 2 other nice guys before this but left them). And in regard to knowing if u're with the right person, why not right a list of things you'd like in a b/f or husband, and include belifes that are important to you in general for life and love.
A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (5 February 2007):
 Of course! I think it's only natural to see little things that you don't like about the other person but if you really love them I think it's possible to see past them. You might be right that your past experiences have made you look for things to stop you from getting attached so that you're not upset if it happens again. I understand this attitude, I've done it myself, but you miss out on so much if you persist with it.
CD
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A
female
reader, happytots +, writes (5 February 2007):
 yeah i know wat you mean, and it doesnt take long to get over, providing u ewant it to work and not be critical of him.i'm sorry if that sounded harsh, i didnt mean it to be, i mean it in the nicest possible way. i was like u, i wasnt used to be treat so well, but then i thought i deserve every bit of happiness just as much as the next person. believe in yourself, you deserve to be happy. look for the reasons your with this guy and not the negative comments. you will soon realise. gud luck, let me no how u get on.x x
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