A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 19 and pregnant and me and my husband have been together a year. I was never really phsically attrated to him, I was attracted to my love for him, but the longer we are together the more it seems like that may not be enough. He isn't a good kisser, he has very small lips from what i would prefer and what im used to and his mouth is always entirely too wet and we've tried to fix it or ignore it but it just frustrates the both of us so now i mostly avoid any making out. He is always in the mood and sometimes i am too but not for him. The sex feels wonderful except for the fact it never lasts longer than a few minutes sometimes seconds, He ask for chances to start up again but at that point im so annoyed i don't want to. He is very awkward to me and i can tell he's not confident in himself during sex, and that turns me off, but i know this is my fault. I sometimes feel like i'm having sex with an unexperienced and nervous virgin and fantasize about my sexual experiences with ex-lovers to help myself fake attraction to him, but that only lasts up until he tries to kiss me. I try to avoid sex now and i see it upsets him, I do not want him to go elsewhere so i suck it up and wait for it to be over, not that it lasts long. I've thought of just performing oral on him, since his oral sex does nothing for me, is this a good idea? It hasn't always been this way he is the only man to ever make me "squirt" so he wasn't always bad at sex, is this because of my pregnancy or are we just losing our spark? what can i do to fix this, i love my husband but i don't know if i can be unsatisfied forever and an affair is out of the question. what else can we do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2009): I did kiss him before we were married and i had no problems then, the sex used to be great i wasnt physically attracted to him but i was attracted to my love for him...everyone isnt gorgeous...we love each other to death and he treats me right..i may be young but i've been through enough to kno what i want..i just feel like we are falling off sexually
A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (26 December 2009):
 That´s really strange... you say you love your husband, yet you are not physically attracted to him and never were?
I could be wrong, but I have the feeling that you don´t know what you want... I see that you´re 19, and that is common at your age. Furthermore, the other poster mentioned that pregnancy hormones are screwing with your emotions.
You didn´t kiss him at all before you got married? I don´t understand it. Why not?
In my opinion, you should wait before you do something permanent, like get a divorce. Your emotions are under the effects of the pregnancy hormones and you are seeing things in a different light... a decision like divorce is life changing... if he were abusing you or the kids I would say, leave him NOW. However, it appears that you just don´t know what you want, and if you rush into a divorce you may regret it.
I would say wait until the kid is born, do some soul-searching, perhaps talk to a counselor.
I don´t understand why you´d marry a man that you´re not physically attracted to, but we all make mistakes in life. Sometimes really wonderful things can come out of mistakes, and sometimes we just have to admit we screwed up and move on as best we can. However, it´s bad to rush into a marriage, and usually bad to rush into a divorce.
I think she should think this through, get some marriage counseling. :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2009): i have beenn trying to teach him..nothing
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2009): When you are pregnant the hormones are going crazy.You will feel happy and sad at the wrong times.Emotions are driven by chemicals flowing through your body.Don't make any permanent decisions right now that would be a mistake.The body knows it is pregnant so it turns the sex drive off.
It's hard to believe you didn't kiss the guy before you got married.I would have tested the merchandise a little.At least kissing.
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