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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been with my partner for 3 years and we have a child together. I love him very much and I'm very happy. I have one problem though! I lost my virginity to my partner and I am very glad I did. He has had other sexual partners, which is not a concern in our relationship. I really want to be with him forever and I know he wants the same but lately I've been feeling really guilty because I've been wanting to experience sex with other people. My partner doesn't know how I feel and I am NOT prepared to end the relationship and definatly NOT prepared to cheat! I ask my partner about his sexual experences just out of pure curiosity but he clams up and refuses to talk. I respect he doesn't like it and I haven't asked him since! Before getting with me, my partner knew sexually what he did and didn't like and because he doesn't like certain things he isn't willing to try them with me. After all, it might be a totally different experience as we are both each other's first loves and are totally confortable with each other! I read in magizines about "sowing your oats" and I'm worried it will affect our realtionship in the long run! I know my partner has fullfilled his sexual needs. Have I settled down too early? Is it normal to feel like this I am only 20? Thank you for your advice!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2005): I wouldn't be too concerned if you are having thoughts about "sowing one's wild oats". It's not a sign something is wrong with your marriage or something is wrong with you. This is perfectly normal for many married folks to wonder what life is like in the world of singledom. If you were thinking (obssessing) on it, all the time and looking to actually cheat-then yes, you'd have to rethink your own inner values and committment to your marriage. Thinking of infidelity with other men-will seriously affect a great marriage, eventually. But even in the best of marriages, many of us occasionally wonder, if we missed out on life's adventures. Don't worry about it- relax and enjoy life with your wonderful husband, your beautiful child and keep being happy and gracious with the wonderful blessings you have. It really sounds like you have a strong relationship with your husband-and you are just curious. Stay happy
Take Care, Irish
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