A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Right basically I've been with my boyfriend for 10 months now and I feel really annoyed because all the responcibility with everything is put on me and I can't stand it. When I first met him years ago we were friends and because of my drug problems I went away for a year and a half and successfully cleaned myself up. When I came back I saw him again and we fell for each other. But the roles had reversed now he was the drug addict and I spent an 800 pound loan and a further 1300 pound plus all the money I have coming in to get him clean of heroin. I stood by the mood swings and withdrawals and I stopped him from doing anything stupid. He's been clean for 9 months now and ever since it's neverending bills and none of them are mine. He sold his pick-up truck and got a van and I pay for the tax, MOT, insurance and any maintenance bills which are quite high. We enjoy doing cocaine sometimes - I enjoy it rarely and I see it as a treat for myself since I don't get anything for myself ever. But he likes to get high all the time and my budget doesn't stretch to this always. He had a car accident a few years ago and broke his leg so now he is unable to work and I look after him the best I can and provide for him but he is on so much medication he can't have sex or go out for walks and this puts a lot of strain on me aswell. I choose to just forget about what Im perfectly capable of doing because he can't and he needs me. He eats all his medication and I have to pay for more from dodgey people. This week I have to get myself a provisional licence so I can finally have photo ID so thats £60 all in and I need to pay tax on his van, the MOT, he owes his mum £300 insurance which I have to pay, £30 on extra medication and a further £50 to fix a wood burner!! He gets £90 a fortnight and I get £1000 a month and it's just not enough. And if I bring it up he gets angry and forgets what I tell him like we need to budget til the bills are paid so no treats for three weeks. He makes me think I've done something wrong. What shall I do? I'm losing interest in the man I loved so much I sacrificed my life of music for where I felt I could be somebody and make myself proud. Now I'm just skint all the time and stuck in the house with hardly anything to my name.If I left him I'm sure he'd run my name into the ground but all I've done is play mum to him without getting anything in return. I love him but I don't love this side of him. He gets very angry to the point of being quite violent and says the nastiest things but on the other hand he's sweet and really nice. What would you do if you were with someone like this? Someone who is impossible to reasonwith without them confusing you on your point and turning it round on you even though you know you're not in the wrong? please help me. :(
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female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (20 October 2008):
If I was in this situation I would leave, You say you are working so either get online and find somewhere to live or get on to your council and find out if there is a council house going spare.All you need is a room in a shared house and they are fairly cheap. You could be out by next week if you wanted. Once you are out warn him that you are stopping all the direct debits to the house so his van will be uninsured and illegal to drive soon.Then never speak to him again!Good Luck!! xx
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