A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I would identify myself as a bisexual woman, and have known this since I was about 12...But recently there have been a few things said from college debates, stories on the internet that I completely don't understand or agree with- so my question is: have I completely misinterpreted what a bisexual person IS? Too Many times now I have heard people be disrespectful of bi people on the basis that they are : GREEDY?? Is it just me that feels I am bisexual because I am attracted to both genders? Not because I want to have a 3some or Need to be in a relationship with a man and a woman at the same time.. Also the whole "it's a phase" or you choose the be bisexual? I just know that I am, at the age of 12 I was not choosing to look at girls to be cool? It's just who I am.I know this isn't really a defined question and a slight anger on my behalf of people labeling me with traits I don't have..I'm greedyI want a 3someI cant be happy in a long term relationship with the other genderI will be unfaithful ='( Sorry for te confusion but I guess the main questions are:Have I misunderstood bisexuality?Am I wrong and bi people (in Which case I am not) do have these traits...And do you think a bi person can be happily married or in a long term relationship.. Thank you for taking the time to read ;/ Please help me x
View related questions:
the internet, threesome Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (27 August 2011):
 So many people don't understand bisexuality, and thats where all these weird stories come from. Bisexuality opens up for the possibility of enjoying a threesome, yes, but most bisexuals, just like heterosexuals, enjoy a monogamous relationship. No bisexual would agree with being greedy etc.
Also, many appear to think bisexuality is a path to homosexuality. For many homosexuals I think it is easier to start with being bisexual, to ease into who they truly are, or use bisexuality as an excuse, or quite frankly don't know themselves. But if you KNOW you are a bisexual, you do not need the approval of others. You are who you are and you know who you are, whether or not others believe such a thing can exist.
People are often scared of what they do not understand. A bisexual person is not more likely to cheat. That's ridiculous. A heterosexual person is just as likely to cheat. But people could be scared and don't understand it. However this is reputations we get from outsiders. No bisexual will say this about themselves, or think this way about themselves. It's just a stigma. Homosexuals are also getting called names... it's just what people with no understanding of it say to make themselves sound and look better.
I am bisexual myself, never cheated, want marriage. I have two friends who just got married, where the woman is bisexual.
However I will add that being bisexual opens up for different sexual experiences, but ONLY if you're already open minded to different things. There are MANY heterosexuals who dream of a threesome. So being heterosexual, or bisexual, does not say anything about your attraction to a monogamous relationship. Just think of the Mormons, they are heterosexual, but a man can have many wives.... so sexuality has nothing to do with cheating, what form of relationships you want (monogamous, trinogamous, polygamous etc.)
You know who you are, and us other bisexuals also know who we are. Don't let reputation scare you into thinking you're the only "normal" bisexual there is. These reputations hold no ground in real life.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2011): I am a bisexual woman who has been in a committed relationship with the same man for 5.5 years....We have been happily married for the last 6months. I completely agree with you. Being bisexual doesn't make us "greedy" or "sex hungry" or any of the other negatives people use on us. I always knew I was different and in the 7th grade (so i was about 12 years old too) I came out and my mother told me it was "just a phase" well....9 years later here I am...Pretty long phase in life i guess....I will admit my husband and I have had a girlfriend before and we have had a couple threesomes...But that's just fun...There's nothing wrong with spicing up your life....But Just because I am Bi doesn't mean that I CANNOT be happy with just my husband....I would be perfectly happy with just him...It just means that I have the ability to love another woman. All it means is that there are things about both sex's that are attractive to me whether I act on these attractions or not.-Rosie L.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2011): I am a bisexual woman too. Which in my case means that I am fluid. I am with another woman since three years, before that i had 2 boyfriends. i have statistically been more OFTEN attracted to men. And since I met my girlfriend I stopped thinking other women (then her)were attractive.The only thing I envy straight couples is the (if both fertile) ability to have a "love child" that is related to both of the parents. I DO think that the bisexual women i have met have been unfaithful and greedy. They have all been promiscuous.That does not speak for bisexuals in general cause i have only known a few.And I am not counting girls who claim that they are bisexual but have never had a girlfriend and lots of boyfriends.I don't think you should feel bad about what you hear about bisexuals. You know who you are and just tell people off if you hear something that you described.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2011): No, I don't think you have mistunderstood what bisexuality means. It simply means being attracted to either gender.
The homosexual community hasn't always been very supportive which is an irony since they are the first ones to argue that a person's sexuality is their own and not something that can or ought to be defined and labeled by anyone else. Perhaps they see bisexuals as homosexuals who are too afraid of alienating the hetersexual community to commit themselves fully.
Many heterosexual men do seem to view female bisexuality as an opportunity for threesomes and their own private dyke shows probably because those who think that way see women's sexuality as being for and about them.
Take comfort in the fact the vast majority of people really don't care one way or the other. They're too busy living their own lives to worry about what you're doing with yours.
...............................
A
male
reader, PrinceCharming  +, writes (27 August 2011):
Im a straight dude, and have seen alot of girls kissing other girls at partys, and concerts, and one thing that keeps coming up is they just want attention,and the only one your list i might agree on is you could be unfaithful. My best friend has a Bi sexual gf and he gets really jealous if he doesnt get any attention. She was giving all the sexual attention to girls and he wasnt getting anything. So that same month he cheated on her.. So my point is some guys might want you to stay faithful even if its with a girl . And dont feel bad about wanting a 3some , haha we all want one ;)
...............................
|
