A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi everyone.Pls help me ...Me and my guy statrted dating a year back.we work at the same office.everything was fine and good betweeen us.I fell for him .but he told he doesnot have marriage ideas with me as for that time. i did not take it to my heart and continued bieng with him............Due to work related reason i had to work from different office.we met each other once a week and would spend time together.During my absence a female associate of our office befriend with him.though they have brother-sister relationship, i coud not stand the sight of them being together.i had told my guy that i have problem with these things initially. We started having fights and it was very ugly between us. we split up(he left me alone so that i can take time to think about myself rather being attached to him).With days passing by i had anger and frustration oly cuz he let a female friend come between us and would not stop her texting.After 6 months he came back to me.but i never felt the way i used to feel with him.again i compromised myself and got along with him but he still was friend with that feamle associate.i coud not take up and stopped texting and calling him.its very unpleasant between us.yesterday he came and spoke to me enquiring my whereabouts and do i have problem with him.i just told that i should have changed myself long back so that i need not have bore so much pain an hurt.he litrelly broke down and hide his tears and told me that he was thinking that i might be angry on him or sad but never thot that i wil regret things that happened between us...he also added when the person you care for most hurts lyk this, how much it hurts and pains...you wil know when somebody does the same to u as u did to me.....After that he just had a normal conversation and left.He texted me 2 msgs yest.1.good night.i don want to troube u anymore.2.am really not fit for u nor am good enough for anybody.i replied back as why is he talking like this.for this a reply camei don wann u to regret bieng with me anyomore....just be your life master than me driving it as u said..good luck.i asked him wat does all these means?Are you breaking up with me??he replied don be asking me so many quest..keep it whatever u wann think it yourself.. i really love this guy deep in my heart,but he never sees me the way i see him.he is 4 years elder to me. i don know how to deal with this.Has my relationship really ended?how am i going to live with this?Please help me...... i ve tried talking to this guy reg all this when we were together and when we had split..but nothing worked out..i realy dunno how to cope up with this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you sarcy24....I am in love with him so so much. i Dont want to lose him..But yesterday again we had fight regarding that female colleague.i hate her so much. she just took away my guy from me..now he doesnt feel comfortable or compatibe with me......wat do i do ?????
A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (23 June 2013):
No I don't think the relationship is over. You are clearly a strong woman and did not feel able to put up with him texting and spending time with a female colleague. You were right to feel that way and acted accordingly. I would not have been able to put up with this either. You then compromised yourself by taking him back while he was still in contact with this other worker. I could not tell from your post if you have made it clear to him that your upset stems from his contact with this other woman, her texts and clearly the fact that he would not commit to marriage etc going forward. Your relationship is not over. I suspect your boyfriend realises that he risks losing you and now is in a state not knowing which way to turn. He doesn't want to finish it with you hence the answer to your 'is it over' question answered nothing and pushed it back into your court. Personally I would respond to his texts and tell him how you really feel and that for anything to work between you he must cease friendship and texting with this lady and if he cannot do that then he must think about moving offices. If he can't cut her out of his life because clearly she is not just a friend then you are far better off without him.
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