A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:It has been 2 months since my ex boyfriend and I have had "no contact". He broke things off. I miss him so much I haven't reached out at all, no calls, no texts, or emails, nothing. I keep wishing he'll miss me and realize he wants me back. I am having a very hard time with the break up, I can't get him out of my mind. I try to keep busy, go out, exercise, but it's been so hard. I thought he was the one. Has anyone had an ex that has reached out after realizing he made a "mistake" and wanted to work things out?..or has to much time passed and possible he has moved on??
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female
reader, mouse17  +, writes (13 August 2013):
If your ex does end up contacting you do not get back together, 99% of the time it's a bad idea. You break up for a reason. My ex and I were together 3 years and we broke up twice during that time. We should of never gotten back together the first time but as you're most likely aware your heart always rules your head in these situations. You just need to be strong. Time is a bitch but it really gets better as time goes on. Trust me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2013): Yes! Though I was the desperate one that held on for a month after trying to see him still. Obviously, that didn't work out. I cut him off cold turkey for a month and a half. I then had some medical issues that I wanted to make him aware of, so I texted him just the FYI. That opened the door for him I guess, and he said he still had feelings for me. We're taking tings really slowly, but im having second thoughts already. Not sure if he has truly changed. Thought this was everything I wanted, but now Im just confused.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2013): You need to move on and continue your process of getting over him. Assume that he's moved on, so you should to.
if it requires you to contact him and take whatever consequences happen for you to move on (whether it be nasty messages from him, or complete silence) then go ahead and try to contact him. each person deals with their pain in a different way, maybe you need to have more evidence that it's over before you can emotionally let go.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2013): My ex and I were together on and off for 2 years.
We had a very intense connection, but that's about it.
About 6 months after we broke up for good, he started contacting me through texting, facebook and through my friends.
I ended up calling him, in which we had a 20 minute conversation, ending with him saying he wants to be with me whether it's now, or in 10 years time.
I told him I would see how I felt in 10 years time ;)
RULE- "If you break up once, there's a 90% chance you will again... just leave it!"
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2013): Yes I have. He dumped me. We broke up and it was completely over. I blocked him from texting me. He would send emails at random and I'd block them too. After a little over 1 month of no contact he got in touch with me a different way, he was completely different and I gave him another chance. We ended up getting married. Now 3 years later we are separated again. He said he hasn't been himself for years, was trying to be what I wanted... We are now separated and plan to see about reconciliation 2 months from now to see if we can fix it. He doesn't think we can though and barely seems to want to. He agreed to attempt to reconcile months from now at my request, but said odds are it won't be fixed and we will be getting a divorce. So sure he came back. But nothing actually changed. He pretended to be someone he wasn't until he couldn't anymore. The real relationship issues never changed. What you have to do is move on completely, just as I did. I never ever expected to get back with him. Which may be one of the reasons he pursued me so much. Either way it has to happen. You move on and he comes back, great. You move on and he doesn't? That's okay too, you have moved on. Sitting around hoping he will call isn't getting you anywhere. It's hard as hell, I'm going through it so I know, just pick yourself up and try to submerge yourself in everything you can. Stay busy. See friends. Don't check his social sites. DO NOT CALL HIM EVER. Once you move on with your life he may decide he has made a mistake. No one can predict the future. You can certainly have hope that it would happen, but expect for it not to. Things happen for a reason, and if you didn't work before you probably wouldn't work later either. As I found out the hard way.
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female
reader, MsSadie +, writes (9 August 2013):
 Yes. And our second, third, and fourth attempts at reconciliation ended far worse than the first breakup.
I don't know enough about your relationship or why you two broke up, so I can't say for sure if you should let it go. But my usual motto is, "when in doubt, just say 'no'." You must be doubting something if you came here to ask about the relationship, so, without any other details to go on, I say leave it.
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female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (9 August 2013):
 I had an ex that contacted me after 10 years. He had cheated on me and dumped me for someone else. He had been through many relationships and realized that no other woman could give him the love that I did. I listened to him with compassion, but there were no romantic feelings of reconciliation on my part. I listened to him and thought to myself, how the hell did I ever give this man my love???!!! I could never go back to that. He still sends me messages about how much he regrets and how well he remembered our "sweet" times together. My only regret was being with him in the first place, and I hardly remember any of the times we had together, at least not with the same feelings of nostalgia that he has. I still talk to him, but only as an acquaintance, nothing more.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2013): This has happened to me. When I broke up with my ex, after a few weeks/months he kept contacting me. He sent me an email asking him to phone him all the time.
I ignored every message, didn't contact him at all, and I got through the break up (even though, I broke up with him) Now, it's been 9/10 months since we broke up and I don't miss him at all, and I'm moved on with my life.
All I can advise is, don't get in contact with him. That will make all your feelings for him flood back. Ignore his messages, and I'd suggest trying to find someone else and having a bit of a 'fling' with some guy. Nothing serious, just a bit of fun.
I did that. I started 'seeing' a friend of mine. We're not seeing each other anymore, but we chat sometimes. I think that helped me get through the break up, it made me realise that there are plenty more fish in the sea.
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male
reader, CMMP +, writes (9 August 2013):
I'm sure someone has but it's not the norm. It's also not doing you any good.
Rejection is very hard on people, but don't take it personally. It's not that there was something wrong with you, you guys just weren't compatible. If you were he wouldn't have broke your heart.
Someday you'll find a guy who will really be "the one".
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2013): my boyfriend of over a year suddenly broke up with me and we didnt have any contact for a month, except when he texted me for his stuff, then out of the blue on facebook he said how sorry he was and that he loved me he was just stressed with his university work and couldnt handle a relationship too, i decided to give him another chance but it took me weeks to decide, i made him grovel first and if he ever did it again we would be done for good....i know he never went off with another girl hes such a geek hes always on his games and we share the same friends and they didnt hear from him....so yeh sometimes it happens but i wouldnt wait around for your ex to come running back, enjoy your life go out with friends, even though i was heartbroken i still had a good time without him
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2013): If you keep hanging on in hope that he will miss you; and if he doesn't contact you, you are going to be emotionally devastated. You have to deal with it like he is never coming back. If he does great; but you should already be prepared in case he doesn't.
He is going to ignore you. You'll get desperate and start pleading out of frustration. He'll just avoid you. Then you'll be hurt even more. Consider the worst case scenario and work from that standpoint. You'll save yourself a lot of pain.
Why did you break up in the first place? Don't you think you would still be together if he missed you and everything is okay? What has changed in two months since your breakup? Has he changed, have you? If he came back tomorrow, will the relationship just pickup where you left off? The old relationship died when you broke up. You can't breath life back into it. If he came back, you would be starting over, not fixing it.
You are fighting reality and asking someone to give you false-hope. Very rarely do people get back together. Yes they sometimes work it out. That doesn't add any guarantee that yours will.
There is nothing anyone can say on this site; that will help you more than telling you to prepare yourself to heal as though he isn't coming back. Then you will be whole and ready to handle it, if he never does.
I'll leave it to another aunt to plant a fairytale in your head. I'm looking out for your heart. You must prepare for the worst, but it doesn't mean you can't hope for the best.
It means you don't hold out without a Plan B.
You are resisting change. Putting your life on hold, and delaying healing from your grief.
Getting over a breakup is a hard enough ordeal without you trying to hold on, if he hasn't. You are going to fall deeper and deeper into depression as the days go on; because you don't want to accept that he could leave you.
People don't change much in two months. When a relationship gets so bad that it ends, it took a lot to get to that point. So you think all your problems will magically disappear and he's going to change his mind and come running back?
What do you plan to do if he doesn't want you back? That is what you should be preparing for instead of looking for someone to tell you what you want to hear. It just may not be the outcome of your situation. So please force yourself to accept the possibility that he doesn't feel he made a mistake. That he has had enough and doesn't want to work it out. He let two months go, and he had enough time to decide to come to you and ask to work it out.
Not a word. That's why you're here.
My dear, you have to deal with the reality that he may not come back.
Think about all the things that you did, and all that he did; that didn't work in the relationship.
The question is, will "your" ex reach out to you?
Does "your" ex think he made a mistake?
Why would he have broken up "by mistake," and let two months go by without coming back to fix it?
He thought it out. He made a decision. Please don't put yourself through the agony of waiting him out. That time should be used for you. Taking care of yourself, and getting through this difficult process.
The truth is, you can hang on as long as you want. You can't hang you hope on him coming back. You can prepare to move on in the event that he doesn't. You could get back together and it still doesn't work out.
It is time to move on, sweetie. I got dumped four months ago. I felt what you're feeling. I decided to just get through the pain and get better; and not worry about him.
It's a big fight getting through it; but I'm winning.
The sooner you come to terms with it, the sooner you can get over him. Wouldn't it be great to be over him, and have the choice to decide whether you even want his ass back?
I didn't want to leave it up to him to decide. It's my life, and I refuse to let anyone interrupt my happiness.
You'll do the same. You're just going to hang on and suffer a little longer; until you're force to deal with it.
It's up to you. You can read some articles I wrote to help people get through the grief.
I've already gotten through some pretty tough spots. Maybe my articles might give you a little comfort.
There will be advice from other aunts that will help you as well. Just prepare yourself; regardless of how things turn out for other people. Some people win the lottery, most don't. The odds are nearly the same with reconciling a breakup.
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