A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:dear cupid,I am 19 years old and I am in university. I have never had a true friend in all my life. whenever I try to talk to people casually, or continue conversation as part of a group the person or persons involved ignore me, or start talking to each other after an embarrassing silence. Im not an unintelligent person and I dont say stupid things, so I cant understand it.In school I was always the odd one out, who people didnt relly talk to unless it was to copy last nights homework. I only had one friend in secondary school and she went off with kelly, another girl in out year. kelly got jealous of me and my best friends friendship and she sabotaged it by telling my friend that I said stuff about her which wasnt the case.my ex friend started talking to me again after 2 years but she only contacts me when her other friends are unavailable.These days, I go to college every day but I have no friends here. Where I live is a particularly bad area of the city and people there are unfriendly. I also go to karate once a week and I have no friends there either.sorry if this question is very long and boring but I couldnt make it shorter. I havent felt this lonely since a long time ago. it has made me despise myself at times and feel quite depressed. my family isnt supportive so I have nobosy to turn to. has anyone got ideas on how I can make friends? please help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for all the answers, the 4 of them are very helpful! however Mandy you said that ''They are the ones with the problem hunny not you'' it feels like its me at fault sometimes cos I just think, by the law of averages it cant be them who are in the wrong all the time.
I try to make small talk woth people sometimes but they are just not interested in talking or even being civil.
Destiny, I have tried extra curricular activities in the past, eg: I did athletics in school & football. I didnt make friends when I was there. Annalisa, I agree with your point about it being better to have 1 good friend than 10 who use you. Im going to just be myself & keep busy, like anonymous suggested. thanks again for your answers
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2008): You sound like me exactly. I have no friends right now. I talk to a guy but he isnt even here. I feel completely alone and have no idea what to do to make it better. Usually it helps me to keep busy. The way i made friends in the past was at my job or at school. Being in a community college right now, I dont go out of my way to talk to anyone so I remain a loner. At my current job I work with only older people as it is a day job. I think everything in my life would be better with even just one good friend. I agree that getting involved in a social club at school is your best bet. You will be with people who are interested in the same things you are. Sometimes at work you can meet people, but what i learned from my last set of friends I stopped talking to, dont depend completely on anyone. They may let you down. Focus on work or school and when you get too lonely surround yourself with family or get an online game. Try the social club though. Its a good idea. Good luck with everything.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2008): Hi Hunny
The first thing you need to do is get some confidence and self esteem love, Once you have got your confidence you will feel stronger and more in control of certain situations...People can be so cruel and its probably jealousy most of the time, I bet your really very pretty and other girls just cant deal with it so they choose to ignore you..They are the ones with the problem hunny not you always remember that, Your the nice one here just wanting to be friends with everyone and they are being judgmentle. No one has that right to judge another so you are not in the wrong here, There is nothing wrong with you its them..Always have faith in you hunny, Im going to send you some links to help you.....
http://inspirationalwomeninhistory.wordpress.com/2008/03/01/advice-from-3-self-confident-women/
http://www.womensselfesteem.com/index.html
http://www.stevenaitchison.co.uk/blog/2008/04/06/how-to-make-true-friends-%E2%80%93-part-5-%E2%80%93-get-out-of-self-deprecation-mode/
Not all of this will apply to you sweetheart but little bits of each of them will help. A little homework to improve your life and find a little happiness (:0) I HOPE THIS HELPS A LITTLE TAKE CARE WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, destiny2008  +, writes (7 April 2008):
 Hi i very much can relate to this because this has happened to me i had a friend at school they went off with someone else when we got seperated it was hard for me in school and also college people always seemed to not want to be my friend as i saw it these people seemed to sometimes get jealous of you for some reason if your prettier then them or are a decent person or have a talent some people dont like it what you need to do is find people that are like yourself be relaxed be friendly but not to friendly just be you if people have a problem with this then there not worth bothering with try and join some social groups at your college and try facebook or myspace and talk with people don't feel down just think about all your good qualities and remember its usualy the other person that has the problem not you good luck.
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