A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Last week I found out I am pregnant with my boyfriend of 3 and a half year's baby. He is delighted at the news and cannot wait to become a father. I am struggling to be excited or even feel happy about being pregnant, is this normal? I have never had any real desire to become a mother, as in all honesty, I am probably one of the most selfish people around and I don't like anything messing up my routines. Oh and before anybody says I should have been using contraception, I had the implant, but my body got used to it, so it failed. So basically I am just wondering did anyone else feel unhappy about being pregnant? Or will my feelings about it change as the months go on? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (11 February 2011):
 hi
i think it is perfectly natural for you feel unhappy about your pregnancy at the moment. you are very young and you probably feel like this baby will be stopping you from living your life. it won't, but yes your life will be different.
having a baby while you are young can be a positive thing too, it means that you will still be relatively young when your child grows up and is no longer dependent on you. so that you can have your freedom then, and will probably be more affluent by then to go and do the things you want and go the the places you want to go, you will probably appreciate these things more when you are older anyway. i mean you will appreciate your freedom more in the future than what you do now.
some of the most selfish and un-maternal girls i have known have made the best of mothers! i never ever wanted children myself but when i had my son i totally loved him and feel really blessed to have him.
you are in a long term relationship so that will hopefully give you the support that you need, although be prepared that your relationship with him will change too when you have a baby. not necessarily in a bad way, just different.
best wishes xx
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (10 February 2011):
 It will most likely change. Don't forget you have about 8-9 months to get used to the idea.
It's scary and exciting at the same time. It's a huge responsibility, a lot of work, a lot of tears, a lot of joy and love. IT IS OK not not be sure how you feel about it yet.
I only wanted 1 child so when I found out I was pregnant the second time I wasn't happy at all with the idea. Once she started kicking good and hard and I saw her on the US all my doubts went away. I'm now a mother of 3 and couldn't imagine not having them.
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A
female
reader, BananaRama323232 +, writes (10 February 2011):
I did. I was pissed off. I understand. I felt like an aweful person for not wanting to be pregnant or have a baby. I was ashamed and felt totally trapped and alone. it was terrible, everyone was excited but me. Then I got super pregnant haha. My 3rd trimester was amazing, like all the sudden my maternal gene kicked into action. My entire life I selfishly watched out for number 1, and I never wanted kids. I know you don't feel it now, but give it time. Something will change within you, its nature. Illiana is the love of my life and the only reason I live anymore. She changed my life, from only thinking of me, to only thinking of her and its so much better now. I can't explain it to you, but you will bond with your baby and all this will be a thing of the past. But for now, take deep breathes every morning, remind yourself that you will get through this and while it seems hopeless and like the walls are closing in around you, its only that way because of your lifestyle. Hold in there. You'll soon learn that not only are you the awesome and the only thing that matters, but your child will be as well. Who doesn't like company in the world of fabulousness. haha.
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A
female
reader, sammi star +, writes (10 February 2011):
 Have you felt like this since you found out? If you have had moments of feeling happy and then coming down again then that's normal and occasionally can be antinatal depression (not as commonly recognised as postnatal depression)
However if all you've felt is negative feelings then you need to sort this out as quickly as possible. If you haven't already told your boyfriend how you're feeling then pluck up the courage to do it. See your gp and tell your midwife how you're feeling. Having a baby is the hardest thing in the world and if that baby is unwanted then it will only be a million times worse.
I'm not suggesting what you're feeling about how you're life is going to change is unusual because of course all mums to be (and dads) go through this but if you really don't feel anything positive for this pregnancy then you should seek some help. The longer you leave it the closer you'll get to your due date and you certainly don't want to be feeling like this when baby arrives.
Best of luck
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