A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello. My current girlfriend has been very honest with me about telling me of her past. Keeping it simple, she's put it around a fair bit. I was relatively okay with this until recently when she informed me she'd slept with 50+ guys and that one of them is a member in a well known band. Doing a little reading on it, I also found out that this band member was married at the time, and she was pretty young (borderline illegal for where she lives). Now I have this mental image of a girl I love dearly being abused by a person who's face I can SEE, and she's loving it because she didn't know better. I'm not stupid - everybody makes mistakes and to judge a person based on their past, and specifically their mistakes is unfair, plus people deserve a chance to show that they've become better through their trials. Has anybody gone through anything similar, and given my predicament, do people think this is a relationship I should stick with (it does have its good points after all)?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2010): Okay, I missed out a bit of response for sexlessintheuk:
As for making me feel sexually inadequate...actually no. She's had vastly more sexual experience than me, yes. I'm sure she's been with guys who are huge, guys who have amazing technique or whatever (I mean the statistical odds do stack in her favour). But to be honest, the way I see it is that she's put out to all these guys who've probably used her like meat, and I'm not like that. My love is honest and worth a lot, and I'm pretty sure that comes across. If it doesn't, I have no problems taking it somewhere it would be better appreciated, believe me.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2010): I should probably have signed up so people could see this is the guy who wrote the question. In response to sexlessintheuk:She's had a troubled past, and in a way, I can appreciate why she put it around a bit - exposed to sex at an early age and the usual miriad of stories you'd find associated. The reason why I know the identity of this guy was because we were talking about the band and I forget what exactly sparked it off, but I immediately asked her "Which one(s) did you have sex with?", I guess as a paranoid question or just to get it off my chest. After that, she reckoned to count every guy she's been with and said it was about the 50's mark.I know that she doesn't have a high regard for what she's done in the past. She's openly said to me before that she wonders why she did what she did. That being said, when I did ask her who she'd done from the band, there was a smile, as if to say "Oh crap, he got me, lol". The hardest part for me is I believe she loves me, and I don't think she'd knowingly do anything to hurt me, but knowing what she was, and where she's come from...I want to give her every chance in the world, if only to be fair, but it breaks my heart thinking that she was essentially a slutty groupie. What's a man to do?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2010): I think it is so unfair to you. I know that you really love that girl but you need to look to other side you need to wake up and make decision for yourself and dont wait the time comes that you will become pity.Be practical my dear because in love sometimes we need to use our mind and not only our heart even if it hurts because we need.
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