A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone,I posted a question almost a year ago about this guy i was meeting up with and whose mother sadly passed away. After all this happened he still kept in touch with me and for about 2 months after her passing he would still text me everyday and after a while we went back to meeting up a lot - still no kissing or any feelings expressed. But I pretty much fell for this guy. But now things have calmed down for the last few months. I know it's probably a sign of him not being interested and i know he's probably still grieving (this isn't something that you get over quickly!) but i'm confused and i'm struggling to let him go. I care about him a lot and i want things how they used to be - even though i kind of want more - but at the same time i know the reality is if he was interested he'd say or show it. He's always been very closed in terms of emotions and i can never get anything out of him, and once i mentioned i might develop feelings for him and are we just friends and he couldn't even really reply to me and it was awkward for a month or two after that. I'm trying to accept we're just friends, but at the moment it doesn't even feel like that. He even got me a xmas present (i haven't seen him since so he didn't give it to me yet) which i find so confusing as it wasn't expected at all. Do we have a chance in the future? Or if i need to let go, how do i even start? I don't particularly want a bf, i'm happy single, but he came out of nowhere and i never expected to fall for him and feel this bad now!! Any advice could help, thanks guys!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2016): I'm sorry, but I think he's just not romantically interested in you.
I'm afraid you are rationalizing a situation and looking for excuses for his behavior.
The best possibility is that he just needs a friend, the worst? He's feeding off of your energy and romantic interest in him. This doesn't necessarily make him a bad person, but certainly a sort of damaged one.
I'd be honest with myself. If I really am in love with him, I'd tell him and be done with it. If he says that he's not interested in me that way, well then I'd think about do I want to be just friends with him, or if I can be just friends with him.
But first you have to be sure that you're not prolonging this status quo because you don't want to face the facts yet.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 February 2016):
 If nothing has happened between you both after this long then my guess is that he is probably not interested in a romantic way. It sounds like he sees you as a friend, maybe he didn't want to answer you because he didn't want to hurt your feelings.
I think the best way to get over him is to break contact. You know yourself a friendship with this guy is not going to work because you want more than that. Be kind to yourself and cut him from your life. If he really wanted to be with you he would have shown it by now.
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