A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I’m a happily married female, but flirting has gotten me into trouble.A few months ago my husband and I went on a dbl date w/a couple from church. We have become very good friends now. Recently I have noticed her husband checking me out. I’m not physically attracted to him, but personality wise he’s great and guilty to find pleasure in him looking at me. I’ve now started fancying him – even though im not physically attracted to him. I also found out that his wife (my friend now) was bi-sexual back in high school (so was I) and that just turned me on. I too am not physically attracted to her but I wear sexy lil outfits for my husband and our new friends to enjoy looking at me. Her and I on the computer IM all the time and we talk about church, her kids, plans for the weekend and some how we always end up flirting w/ea other. My husband would never ever become a swinger. The idea of a foursome sounds delightful to me (and wrong at the same time), but because of our faith and my husband that would be out of the question. When all four of us are together they “play around” with the idea of partaking in a foursome and I know they might mean it, but my husband has made it very clear of no even “playing around”. The funny thing is that she gets jealous when I talk to her husband. What do? How do I go back to being just friends. I don’t want my husband to loose his friendship w/his guy friend because of me. Why am I having such terrible thoughts? I would physically never want to cheat on my husband; he’s the straightest man I have ever met. In need of some really good advice. Thank you!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, tas +, writes (2 February 2007):
is there any significance when a couple mentions their aunt is into swinging and is telling everyone about it? i thought i read somewhere that this means they are interested in swinging
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2007): [laughs] Now that's a new thing. Never heard that in one sentence before - "Happily married but I want to 'swing' with the couple from our church!"
It's like saying "I'm happy and morally inclined to follow what the Bible says, but I'm going to go against it anyway."
Nice.
Anyway, now for the advice part...
Like Irish has pointed out, your husband has clearly said no. So what else are you trying to go for? Cheating behind his back? You said you will never cheat on him, but I've heard that one quite a lot around DearCupid and in the end, they still cheat - not all, but a vast majority have one way or another.
I bet "good advice" to you means something you agree with right? So obviously, if we tell you otherwise - something you don't want to hear, then it's bad advice right? [sighs]
You know what you can do. The options are layed out in front of you. If you want us to approve what you want to do, hey, most of us wouldn't, and the thing is, I'm not even Christian.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2007): so u sin all week and then go to church on sunday to pray for forgiveness. i dont mean to sound mean but infidelity is infidelity. and its wrong. if u want to swing then get a divorce and quit leading ur man on
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2007): My dear, your husband has told you his feelings about 'swinging' and he's against it. You ask why you are doing this? I don't know..perhaps boredom and complacency has settled into your marriage. All I know, if you were a happily married woman and clearly was devoted and loved your husband, as you suggest, you would not have even thought of flirting or entertaining these thoughts of swinging with other people. You would have saved yourself and him all this embarrassment, if you could have just fully realized your marriage was in trouble, long before you even brought up this subject. I can only imagine how this hurt him to hear you suggest such a thing. Look inside yourself and assess your marriage. I think you and he need to talk.
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