A
female
age
36-40,
*lenC
writes:I have been going out with this guy for almost 5 years now. I am his first serious girlfriend he says. We tried moving in together, but shortly after I moved out because he said it seemed like it was too soon for him. Even though this was not even a year ago, so basically after 4 years of dating. Anyway, that's not what bothers me. I don't want to get married, at least not yet. I don't think we are ready for that. It does bother me however that he is on facebook always talking to these trampy looking girls. I am not saying I'm perfect, but I went to school, I have a job, and my facebook pictures do not include me giving the camera the finger. However, those girls he talks to are the complete opposite. They are trashy and ghetto and seem to have no self respect. Yet, he flirts with them. And they are literally always communicating with him. Recently, one girl was playing and said she was pregnant and my so called boyfriend asked her who the happy guy was.This really made me upset especially because I think I'm pregnant and he knows this too. So to me, it's like why are you even telling a girl this?His excuses are always that I'm his first and he doesn't have experience and I completely understand that because I am also in that same sort of boat, but I would rahter be clean and have something special thatn be dirty and used up by random nothings.Anyway, GUYS, I really want your opinions. Girls, no offense but we always give really bad advice. And I want to see what guys are thinking about this. What is going on in his head?
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female
reader, ElenC +, writes (25 January 2011):
ElenC is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both! This advice really helps. Sometimes you just need to hear it from a compltely outside party, you know? The good news: I'm not pregnant! This definitely makes things a lot easier. I am going to distant myself from him as you have both adviced. I guess we'll see how it goes from here.
Thanks again. :)
A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (21 January 2011):
 I'm not a guy, but I'd like to offer my view. I've been in a situation like yours before, and dealt with the same crap. Inexperience isn't an excuse for lacking common sense, I don't care what he says. Everyone capable of knowing the difference between right and wrong knows they shouldn't blatantly flirt with other people when they're in a relationship. It's disrespectful to you and just shows that he has a lot of growing up to do. You'll have to treat him like a kid if you want a change. Don't accept this behavior, don't make excuses for him, he's only going to continue doing what he knows he can get away with as long as you allow it.
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A
male
reader, Advice_man +, writes (21 January 2011):
 I think your guy has issues of insecurity an immaturity combined. You seem like a decent and down-to-earth girl but you are young and I assume your guy is too so he hasn't really been out there experimenting with a lot of girls. It's a jungle out there with all those low-self-respect, trampy girls (as you say) leading guys on and mistreading them and it's really hard to find decent girls but he doesn't know it,...so it seems he doesn't know how to appreciate you. "You can win someone only if you are willing to lose him!"...which means distant yourself gradually, show him that you do not appreciate his attitude, that he wouldn't put up if it was you talking to a dozen of men on facebook. And that is my advice. Best wishes!
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