A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi! I really need your help. I have been with this mas for 3.5 yrs. We have been broken up for few months. I keep calling. I just cannot make myself stop. One day he is nice. The next he is the devil. We had been talking again for about 3wks and he got mad told me he never wanted to see me or talk to me again. I have called a few times and he has been very nasty. I called this morning and he was nice. He swore to me that he wasnt seeing anyone and to just chill out. I called him back this afternoon and he got mad. He told me that he was seeing someone and to leave him alone. He told me he was with her right now but, that s lie because he is at work, I swear he says stuff just to hurt me. Like an idiot I called him back at work and he told me there was no one else but, that it didnt matter that he keeps telling me that and i keep asking. He told me to leave him alone that he was at work and hung up the phone. I really need help. I love him and want to be with him. I will do anything to make this right. I dont want to keep pushing him further away but, im not ready to let him go either. Please help me make this right. Please help me save this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much!!!! You dont know how bad I needed someone to talk to. I really just needed someone elses opinion. Its hard to see when your standing in the middle of the storm. I have another question. We live 200miles apart. How do I know if he is seeing anyone? One minute he says he is then he says hes not.I really dont want to keep calling and asking but im afraid if I quit calling then he will think I have moved on and he will do the same. I have already shown him how desperate and needy I am. How do I change that? I dont want to continue doing what im doing because its not working and its only pushing him further away.
A
female
reader, sandra78 +, writes (27 December 2008):
I can imagine how hurt and upset you must be.. Breakups are a tough situation.. Especially when you are the breakup-ee. I can tell you right away, that you should definatly NOT call him anymore. That is the worst thing you can do at this point. He is probably aggitated because he has told you several times that it is over, and yet you still call. That would drive anyone crazy. Your best bet is to not call.. Atleast for awhile. Give him time to cool off. This period of down time will also give you time to clear your head, and make more rational decisions. We've all been where you are.. Atleast I have, and I know that we make rash decisions in the name of love. It will be hard not to call.. But the pay off is priceless. I promise. If you wait a few weeks to call or talk to him.. He will realize that you are not just sitting around, waiting for him to come around. (Even if that's exactly what you were doing) and that should spark an entrest him. By then he should be wondering what or who you are doing that is occupying your time. If or when he finally calls.. Don't answer! Wait a few hours.. Believe me, if you answer the first call.. All the time that you spent waiting is lost. When you call back.. Keep it short. Let him know that you are on your way out the door, however you made a few minutes for him.. Just to see how he's doing. (Once again.. Even if its not true) don't talk about the relationship! Talk as if you are 2 friends catching up. Believe me, he will be curious about what is going on in your life. Don't indulge him. Make him wonder. As you are hanging up, tell him that you are available sometime next week, if he wants to meet up for coffee, or dinner. Make sure it is atleast a week away. That will spark even more interest. At this time, he should start calling you regularly. Answer sometimes.. Not all the time. When you meet face to face, im sure you can feel out the situation. You will be able to tell if there is a posibility for reconciliation. Good luck.
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