A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My son has committed suicide today. Not only am I devastated to lose him but in some ways, I had already lost him. I feel guilty cos he lived with his dad after our acrimonious divorce, his dad turned him against me and I have tried and tried to have a relationship with him but always ended up being rejected. He said some bad things to me last time we spoke so I was leaving it to him to apologise and now he's gone. His partner had recently left him and taken the kids which I think is at the root of it but now I can't make it better. And my poor grandchildren now have no daddy.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2009): sorry about your loss.
not to add to your grief but your divorce contributed to a lot of unhappiness in his life. since he was living with your ex i think perhaps you gave the ex sole custody of him. did you not want him. did he feel unwanted and abandoned by you? what was the circumstances surrounding your divorce. i believe this was the root of his problems.
later on after the funeral you need to start some sort of counselling. unfortunately you will have to relive the details of the divorce, why he was staying with his dad instead of you. your contribution to his life. there may be some hard harsh reality to face and some difficut facts to face. as his mother you may have to face some sort of "criticism" over what transpired during the time of the divorce. i am reading that a 3rd party was involved in your life therefor you acrimonous divorce. did your son blame you for the break up.
your immedialte family needs to pull together during this tragedy. please take care and be the pillar of strength to each other.
N.B. - I disagree that people that take their lives are "ILL". we have no understanding of what they are going through. yes, sometimes they maybe emotionally unstable, some sort of "illness".
but the full reasoning/knowledge of suicide we will not know. this "illness" that we talk about we cannot fully comprehend.
A
male
reader, Inc  +, writes (18 May 2009):
I am very sorry for you're loss and understand what you're feeling to an extent. The last thing you want to do is let your feelings run wild at this point. You have the urge to point fingers and put the fault on whoever, but you should rather do the opposite and be reassuring with the others affected by this tragedy.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (17 May 2009):
I am so sorry for this.
Just remember that if he was ill enough to kill himself then that illness must have taken over him.
He will have said and done things that weren't coming from him... it was his illness talking.
I think you need more help than strangers on the internet can give.
http://www.uk-sobs.org.uk/
This website should help you though, and can put you in touch with real people who have been through it and can help you get through it.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2009): I am so sorry for your loss. I know how it feels to lose a loved one through suicide. My brother did it 27 years ago and it stills seem like it was yesterday.
The only consolation I ever had was knowing that this was what he wanted and that whatever was causing his inner torment, is over.
My heart goes out to you and your grandchildren!
Britt
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