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Got a crush on my manager!

Tagged as: Age differences, Forbidden love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 November 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 9 December 2010)
A female Malaysia age 36-40, anonymous writes:

First of all, sorry for my bad english. I'm not so good in grammar and vocab. :S

Secondly, I need opinion on this. :)

I'm 23 and he is 29. He is my manager at work, and I have a crush on him for almost 1 year.

He like to tease me, and call me by several name. And I also created a name for him. So, we will call each other by the name when we chat online, and sometimes in front of other people as well.

When he see me, he will smile, and look at me until I need to look at somewhere else. Everytime we talk or chat we will argue, called each other crazy, and virtual kick. When I asked him to stop, cause its getting boring, he said he will stop when I stop saying him crazy and virtual kick him. Almost every night we chat if he online. And most of the time he start first.

When I'm close with the other guys, he will said that I like the guy, and he feel suspicious of me and the guy. And when he talking/flirting with other girls, after finish it, he will asked for my opinion on the topic that he talked with the girls. When he knew that I was jealous, he was so excited, and deny that he was flirting. If I want he can show me what is flirting, but he don't want to do that caused people will think that he is after me.

He never invite me for lunch. Everytime lunch he will invite everyone else except me. Hence I never join him for lunch, until my ex-colleague complain to him on how he never invite me for lunch. Since then he invite me, but according to my other senior, during the time I didn't join them, he always asked my senior why I didn't join them lunch. And last two weeks, he asked me what's for lunch, and before I can answer he said never mind, cause I won't join him. He said that he knew that I want go lunch with this one guy.

He also asked me what did girls looks for in a guy. He said it will be easy for him to chase a girl if he knew what they looks for in a guy generally. I said that I don't know, and he said, that I'm arrogant for not answering his question.

I asked him a question related to work, and he told me to open the link and he will come to my place soon. But suddenly, he asked me to give him the link so that he can check it from his place. He said he don't want go near me. And I feel offended by that.

I think he knew he have offended me cause after this incident, on the same day, he didn't tease me or talk to me during lunch. He also suddenly talk to me politely and try to make a conversation after lunch.

But I don't understand his behavior. He always secretly help me or concern towards me, but he also always give me false hopes. Sometimes he's cold, and sometimes he's hot. And when he's cold, he's really cold and will completely ignore me. I really don't understand this guy.

Help.. I'm aware that I can just ask him, but I don't want to do that cause I think it will be awkward... :S So, I need opinion on why he behave like this...Thanks...

View related questions: at work, crush, flirt, jealous, my ex

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A male reader, 11muds11 Canada +, writes (9 December 2010):

I think he's a guy who simply doesn't know how to go after a woman he likes, or and most probably, he likes you a lot, he gets tense and screws up all the time.

I think it's time for you to do something. Get him to ask you for coffee alone. Make the conversation light and fun. Then suggest that you should do it again and go from there. Then it's his move. Good luck!

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