A
female
age
30-35,
*aybaybay_x
writes:Going away with my boyfriend's family who hardly speak English help?First and foremost this is the problem. My boyfriend is from Congo and my parents are from Jamaica and GhanaMy boyfriend and I, his family and his brother girl friend are going to a wedding in Belgium in 2 weeks time.He knows his brother's girlfriend entirely and she knows his family better than me. She's only been around for let's say 4 months.Her advantage is that she speaks their language. ...His best friend knows her, goes to their house without my boyfriend their etcetc.But I've yet to meet them. I told him if it was me, I'd like him to know them, especially seeing as we're going to Belgium together and me and her are in the same boat as we don't know anyone and we're both shy.There was all these arguments because I often feel so left out and he tells me all the time that : "They're(his bro and his girl) not that important to get to know""There's never the right time""I'm not even that close to them"But I just kind of feel like there's a time and a place for me..he's got his friends involved with them, so why not me? Especially to minimise the awkwardness of this whole trip. I'd do it for him!...He also says that his brother's girlfriend is a jealous person and I have a feeling, just by what he says about her. That she's taken a disliking to me. Maybe she's been a bit bitchy towards me when he was around.He tells me all the time that she often drops the line :"If it was (my name) you would do it"He also says, "If she was any other girl, i wouldn't get along with her because she's so fake""She's such a jealous person, you could ask her to do your hair for the wedding but she might get jealous of your hair and burn it""I have a feeling she'll get jealous if you look better than her""if she asks any personal questions, don't answer her""She thinks she's better than everybody else"What does this mean?To a stranger, it would seem he gets along with her. He stays at their sometimes, he runs errands for her and they laugh and chat and what not...So is it just because of me? Or does it mean he knows how she is and is warning me?I once had a feeling that he's hiding something from me because often he doesn't involve me much in things (He goes to parties without me, he'd rather take his friends ever where he goes) He tells me"Some of the things you do with your friends, like e.g walk around window shopping, you can't do that with me"He's everything to me, mostly certainly I can do those things with him.We've together for 3 and a half years...My friend says maybe I should just do what I want for a change and have time apart from him to get his interest up and running again...Also, about Belgium, we are going for 3 days.It's a wedding reception and they all speak French, his dad (who I already know) his bro, ditto and his brother girlfriend, all know English.How do I survive the night being the only non Congolese or French person there and how do I make sure I don't cause friction with his brother's girlfriend (What ever her problem is )Help!
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female
reader, petina1 +, writes (11 October 2010):
 I wonder if he has a soft spot for his brothers girlfriend. The route of all this lays with her. Is there something going on there? She has no reason not to like you. You have a gut instinct that something is not right. All you can do is smile and be polite and respectful and be by his side. He can interpret for you if the language barrier becomes a problem. If you want to be with him for a long time then you have to sort some of these things out for yourself. It doesnt like you are going to get much support from him does it
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