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male
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anonymous
writes: During high school I was pretty much known as a pretty smart person that cared more about academics than being incredibly social. I suppose girls just assumed I wasn't interested in a relationship. I do believe that most high school relationships are trivial and too dramatic, but I didn't want to be alone. I think that my reputation built over the years and I didn't get any girlfriends because of it. How can I turn this around to get a girlfriend. I am now in my second year of college and I am really tired of the same results which have been nothing. I would say that overall I am pretty timid about asking girls out which is probably the major problem. Any advice would be cool! Thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2008): Be really nice to her and she might ask you out first!
A
reader, pops +, writes (7 July 2005):
First, who do you want to ask out? find someone who appeals to you because you share classes with her, or are already doing something recreational with her. What are your hobbies? What activities do you participate in? You want to use these as a basis to meet women so that you know, and they know, that you share at least one thing in common. My wife was sent to my office by her father about a work related injury, and saw some books on my desk I use to teach firearm safety. I was on the phone when she first came in, finishing a conversation, and when I turned to her after hanging up the phone, she asked me if I was into guns. I asked her if the Pope was Polish( John Paul II)?
I found out that she owned her own guns, and was a shooter, but had never hunted, because she didn't have anyone to go with. Our conversation grew from that point. She is quite a it younger than me, so I took the conversation as a possibility to help a young woman do some things she wanted to do, and had no thought that she could be interested in me romantically. Life is what happens when you make other plans. When you approach a new woman, SMILE. Say hello, and introduce yourself. Pay her a compliment. Since you are so intellectual, I suspect you would be drawn to women who show some intelligence. Ask her who she is, and if she would like to go out for coffee sometime. Keep the first date short, and brief. Don't expect anything romantic to come of it. She's just as nervous as you are, trust me. The best sex organ is the brain, so talk to her. Find out what interests she has, and share your hobbies and interests, job plans, career goals, etc. with her. Listen to her, and give her plenty of time to speak. Most guys carry on and on about themselves, out of shear terror at those silent moments. I met my first wife in a library where she was employed at the information desk. I asked her out for a drink, and we talked. I took her home, and asked for her phone number to call her again. She refused, but took my phone number so she could call me! She also was a target shooter, and owned her own guns when we met. We then knew we had two things in common. See how it works? Good luck Pops
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reader, becky05 +, writes (6 July 2005):
try and get into more social situations where you will meet more girls. Try to get used to talking to them before taking the plunge and asking them out. Remember though, the worst they can say is no!
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