A
male
age
41-50,
*aralyzed
writes: My gf's behavior on Saturday night has finally put me over the edge. I was invited to a Paddy's Day party. I immediately asked her to come with me. She first refused because she didn't like the people that were going to be there. Particularly the girls that would be there. After an argument regarding one of the girls who has been a friend for a long time now, she agreed that she would come to the party with me. A week later she changed her mind. She had been invited to another party. I didn't make a fuss, I simply stated "well that's good then". Of course she requested that I come with her. I had my plans already made so I declined. We both agreed that we would try and meet up afterwards if possible. Problem solved right? As the weekend grew closer, she had an opportunity to attend a concert the same night as both parties. She jumped on the opportunity. I had no problems with it. I actually drove her and her cousin to the concert before I headed to my party. I specifically told her to come to my friends party after the concert, and to bring whomever she wished.She showed up, completely hammered. My friends were people I had met during our last break up over Xmas. She acted way over the top. Dancing, falling around, loud and obnoxious. She is always outgoing but she was trying much too hard. I didn't think it was a big deal, I thought well at least she is having fun, and she can see that my friends are good people and I have no interest in any of the females in the group. After an hour, she became beligerant with me. She accused me of ignoring her (not true). She accused me of staring at the other girls (not sure if it was true or not, it was a small house and i couldn't just sit there with my head down). She threatened to leave, told me I had no respect for her, wasn't proud of her, and all of her other bf's before me had much more respect for her. That was the kicker for me. She has made this kind of statement before and I warned her about saying things like that previously. I kept my cool because I didn't want to make a scene. We went to a club afterwards, and she left me outside on the steps. My other friends waited inside by the door until i was allowed in. At this point I hoped I would just lose her. Eventually I found her inside, she wasn't actively looking for me. Later on the dance floor, a girl that I have known for years waved to me. My gf lost it. She stormed off the dance floor and left me there. Then started texting me, letting me know she was over by the bar. I chatted to other people I knew before I went to get her. WHen I found her again, she was in an argument with another girl that she thought liked me. I passed her her coat and said "lets go". Outside the club she continued arguing with me. She was extremely drunk and I wanted to leave her there. But, I couldn't leave a drunk woman on the sidewalk. I wanted to send her home to her own house, but the cab ride was much too far, and my place was closer. She had no money of course. We had to go home to my place. I have an elderly woman as a landlord and I had to act sweet and nice once we were home so as not to start a vicious argument that would have woken up the landlady. I was very angry but kept my cool. I put her to bed and I quickly fell asleep. The odd thing is, the next morning she was short with me. As if I had done something wrong. She was embarassed by her behavior, but it seemed like she felt it was my fault. I drove her home and she went back to bed. I left, not wanting to be around her anymore at that point. SHe later apologized for her behavior and claimed that she forgot most of what she had said to me. I told her that I would no longer put up with the jealousy or the tantrums, and I no longer wanted her around me while she was under the influence. I have been through this with her before, and I know it will never change. She has been the sweetest girl on the planet since our conversation, but I know she will revert back after a while. We were supposed to book a trip down south for next month, I plan on NOT doing that now. Anyone experience this kind of drunken jealousy where they take no responsibility? I am angry at myself for not breaking up with her the next day. It was probably a missed opportunity.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (17 March 2009):
You seem to be saying that you are just waiting for it to happen and then you will break up with her then.
Hun, you don't need to book an appointment to break up with someone. It's not one of these things that you had your chance and missed it so now you have to wait till next time.
If you are uphappy then break up with her. You know she is not going to change so why hang around waiting for the next time?
Good Luck!! xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2009): Time to move on.
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