A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a girlfriend of about 3 months, but have dated for 6 months prior. We have had our fair share of fights yet care about each other enough to keep it going. She has always had the tendency to seek attention, and it is bothering to me as it would be to anyone. Recently she met a professional athlete who she exchanged numbers with. Now at first I saw this as being pretty cool, but he has made request for things such as pictures and to get a cab to his place which she has said no. Now, she has lied to me before about dumb things, and I do not think she is doing anything but do think she is speaking inappropriately to him. This has caused me a lot of anxiety and I'm struggling with everything. At the same time it makes me feel utterly worthless because realistically I do not stack up to this guy even if he is just looking for some ass. Does anyone have any ideas on how to handle a situation such as this.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (3 November 2010):
 When someone seeks attention, it's because they have a need to feel special and validated. In some people, it's almost compulsive. Getting attention of any kind feeds into that need, regardless of who it's coming from or why they're getting it.
You can try to displace it by being more affectionate and doing things to make her feel special. I'm not saying you don't, but it may not be enough in her mind. Attention-seeking may be her way of trying to compensate for a perceived lack of it. If the situation doesn't improve, you'll have to have a serious discussion about how uncomfortable it makes you. Ultimately it's for her own good, but also your peace of mind.
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