Girl thing gone bad? But why? Where do I go?

A male age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I've been going out with my, as of last week, ex girlfriend for about 3 years now. She broke it off. I've been in bad relationships and understand most problems. I'm a very nice guy...and everyone says too nice...bringing her flowers just casue its wednesday, picking her up and driving her around, etc. Needless to say I do all this becasue I want to and I love her. She told me that she, after about 3 years, sees me as more of a friend that a boyfriend...which seems natural after this long...but the "friendship" she wants is not a normal friendship...she wants all the benefits like cuddling, etc...She cheated on me, by cheat i mean make out with some guy, not the other kind(i think)...,the day before my birthday last year and broke up with me on my brithday. NOT the best brithday present. Just sayin.. We've broken up before and it seems we get into a cycle of: friends, friends with benefits, so close to a relationship...it basically is one, and then back together. When she was "getting her life together" last time she said that she wasnt happy and her happiness ended up being friends with benefits with me and making out with other guys and drinking 3 nights out of the week, and then still coming home with me.I was ok with it for a while because we had been "exclusive kissers" lets say...besides everything else... And then One night she "got kissed by" another guy and I just had enough and made an ultimadum that she had to choose between being in a relationship with me or being actually single and us just being "friends"(fair I would think after 3 and 1/2 months of this...), and she chose me, but now tells me it was just out of fear of losing me and that i "forced her into this"...confused...i think so...she has a very immature best friend that influences most of the party behavior and is just plain dumb...am I getting the short end of the stick just because of her friend telling her she should break up with me? Does she actaully want to be with me?? Is she just afraid of a good thing going bad somehow?...i have asked her about moving in before...even marrige and the answer is always yes...is the problem only taking the next step?...thats what it seems. Or Should I just leave?..

View related questions: best friend, broke up, cheated on me, ex girlfriend, flowers, friend with benefits, immature, kisser

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A female reader, blah89  +, writes (1 July 2010):

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