A
male
age
41-50,
*[o]ry
writes:I am a 22 year old gay male currently sharing an apartment with a female friend, someone I've gotten quite close to over the past year we've known each other. Only problem is she wants to begin an intimate dating relationship with marriage in sight and is quite serious about it. Does she not realize my preference? Is there anything I can say to have her back off without losing the friendship?? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008): geesh what a tough suitation. Is she aware that your gay? Pherhaps she thinks your bi? Maybe bringing someone home a guy to help the point hit home. Have u and her ever done anything?? I don't understand how things could've gotten this far. I can completly imgaine how she must feel. I feel for a gay guy twice the second time being right now...its horrible b/c its this amazing guy blah listen to me venthing
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2008): I also am a straight girl that lives with my best friend who is a gay guy... I at one time was in love with him and wanted what I knew good an well he could not give me... I was hurt that he couldn't see me like I saw him and I tried to not like him like I did... We actually talked to each other about our feelings and got everything out in the open...
My suggestion is that you watch Object of my Affection with her and then talk about how you feel about the movie. We did that and I slowly learned that it is not that he doesnt see me like that, it is simply that he can't! Good luck!
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A
male
reader, c[o]ry +, writes (6 November 2007):
c[o]ry is verified as being by the original poster of the question![c[o]ry agony aunt](/avatars/1767183d-ffb8-4d20-b17f-04ca6fb4bb01.png) That was really awesome. Thanks :)
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A
male
reader, tux  +, writes (6 November 2007):
 Does she know your preference? I am assuming she does.
Chances are is that she just wants something she knows she can't have. It's like that cookie in the cookie jar that your mom told you not to eat. You didn't want it that badly but when she said you couldnt eat it, you wanted it more and more until you reached your hand into the cookie jar.
You need to let her know that you value her friendship and let her know that things will never work out because of your preference. Just let her know how you feel. Don't worry too much about losing her friendship. She should understand. If not, then do you really want a friend that will quit because of that?
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