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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Why do women (even married women) think it is okay to become 'close' friends with a married man, and keep this relationship from their spouses? Is this okay?
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female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (20 January 2010):
 There's nothing wrong with having platonic, opposite-sex friends. However, it's wrong to keep secrets from your spouse.
It's really a case-by-case thing, and we can't have rules for everything. Sometimes we just have to use common sense.
For example, would a reasonable person expect you to turn your back on a guy who has been your best friend since kindergarten?
On the other hand, if you have an acquaintance at work that you're having candlelit dinners with... NO. That is NOT COOL.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2010): i have many friends that are male and female, married and unmarried. i communicate with them on a regular basis however they are not secrets from my husband. i am a people person and i enjoy keeping in contact. however i never talk to the males on the phone and my husband has all of my passwords to my email and social sites. to my knowledge he has never checked them, i dont really think he would know how, but he has them, by my choice. if he were a jealous type i would be more careful, but he isnt and i talk freely about this one or that one and what is going on in their lives. many are mutual friends while others are more my personal friends but not secretly. i am the chatterbox in the family so no matter where we go you will find me talking to someone... male or female...and its all on strictly a friendship level. i think it depends on the situation and your comfort level.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2010): If you have to keep it a secret I dont think it's okay. If you know it would be a bad idea to tell the spouse, you have already crossed the line of what's an acceptable relationship.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2010): Having been a man in that situation, I will say that it is a recipe for disaster. My wife became so jealous that it ended up ruining our relationship. She would accuse me of cheating on her and such because of that relationship and it drove me crazy and drove a stake between my wife and I. That stake ended up becoming a true threat of divorce. Now we are trying to figure out how to fix our marriage.
Hiding from someone does nothing but breed jealousy.
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