A
age
41-50,
*
writes: Hello Everyone,I have been with my husband for 8 years. I have four kids and my youngest is ours together. She is six now. In the last year my husband has done some shady things to me to lose my trust. Not physicslly cheating but other things. Im working on trusting him. Ovet a year ago i quit my job because of his crazy hours and needing to drive my kids to school and pick them up. our sex life used to be great. 2-3 times a week. We never went longer then a werk. But now im never in the mood. Im wondering why? And what can i do to change this? Thank you
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (23 April 2014):
Oh,
I forgot to mention certain medications. Some antidepressants ans birth control meds can have this side effect.
FA
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both for wonderful advice. Yes im very concerned and would like to fix my problem. I used to have a high sex drive. So im worried I will never enjoy sex again. Of course my Husbsnd feels like its him, but its not. I just want to feel like me again. I will try your suggestions. Thank you.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (23 April 2014):
Hi Funsize,
You listed three good reasons not to be in the mood.
- incompatible schedules
- loss of trust
- children stress
Let me add a few more possibilities.
- stuck at home and not getting social interaction with adults.
- Peri-menopause Possible at your age.
- loss of intimacy due to less frequent sex.
There are so many possibilities that it would be impossible for an outsider like me to make a good guess. Quite frankly I'm very impressed that you are looking for ways to improve the situation. Your body isn't in the mood but you are still at least mentally interested. Here are some general things you can do that should improve your body's receptiveness.
De stress, relax and get your mind out of the day to day rut. Exercise, especially exercise that improves the blood flow to your groin. Walking, Running , Swimming , or Yoga. Those will also help you handle stress better. Schedule regular intimacy with your husband. Sex dates, showering together, Back rubs, what ever you two like. Don't break a date even if you don't feel in the mood. Keep working on the trust. Try to be positive about it. Try something new. A new position or role play. Avoid pornography, literary as well as visual.
Good luck
FA
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