A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: So I've found the girl of my dreams she makes me a better person and I have never felt this way about anyone before. The problem is I'm afraid I'm being too clingy as of recently we haven't seen each other as much as we did, due to work. we haven't being seeing each other as much but even before then i found myself missing her a lot! I've realized as well recently that i've found myself texting her telling how much i love her and what she means to me and how much i miss her. She says it all back and that she loves when i tell her them things but is she just being nice? am i being too clingy and needy? (we don't live together and have only being together a few months)
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female
reader, Dionee' +, writes (26 July 2014):
I think you're being a little intense especially since its been a few months. There's nothing wrong with expressing your feelings however, don't over-do it. It IS sweet and she IS flattered and maybe does feel the same way. Don't bombard her with all of your feelings though. You never know when to her you would have crossed the line from being sweet to being creepy and clingy. Take each step in its stride. The relationship is still new so just have fun and don't over-do or over-think things. Good luck
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (26 July 2014):
Understand where the source of clinginess comes from. It's your insecurity. You found the woman of your dreams, so now you're scared you'll lose her, or she'll lose interest, or another guy will take her, or whatever. Relax.
You've only been together a few months, and you're texting her about how much you love her and miss her. She hasn't died! The "L" word may be a little bit early at the few month rate, so don't say it constantly as if she'll run away if you don't say it to her 99 times per day. Keep those words special.
And instead of telling her how much you miss her, why not ask her out on a date? Instead of freaking out that you haven't seen each other every hour of every day, just remember that absence makes the heart grow fonder. And get your own social life as well. She can't be your everything.
Slow down, don't freak, don't text constantly, give the relationship breathing room, don't say "I love and miss you" constantly, and do NOT make her reassure you of her feelings all the time by asking "Do you love me" or whatever. Guys who are sure of themselves do not have to.
If you want her drawing closer to you, do not smother her. Slow down on the texts, calls, and always keep her wanting more. End a conversation at the right time. Make dates special so don't make them 12 hour affairs until she's worried about her work performance. Don't get pissed if she's on FB or Skype and it's not with you.
Slow down. Don't get insecure.
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A
female
reader, abeautifulday +, writes (25 July 2014):
The feelings you have are very normal, you are in love and feel a rush of love, and want to act on it. Its very normal in the beginning to feel this cascade of emotions and to be overwhelmed by it. However, even though its beautiful that you express what you feel, and the girl returns your positive emotions, I would also try to slow down a little bit and try to find out what your crush wants out of your relationship. Does she want to settle down? does she want a serious relationship? It could be possible that either she really is too busy with work, or she might also feel so in love that she is a little scared to go full throttle so she is holding back a little. Or maybe she doesn't fully know what she wants just yet. You both should take the time by going on different dates, and seeing each other in different circumstances to really get to know each other, and then make a decision on where your relationship is heading.
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