A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,i have a very big problem, you probably get it a lot here. I dont know. My problem started when i was in high school. I fell in love with my best friend, we did nearly everything together, going to the cinema and such. The only problem was that he had a girlfriend, i didnt mind. Just being close to him and seeing that he was happy was enough for me, seeing him happy made me happy so i tried to forget my feelings. Ofcourse this didnt work. He split up with his girlfriend and a few months later when he said he was over her i told him my feelings. He told me he knew that id liked him, he hadnt wanted to say anything though incase it embarrassed me. He said though i was a agirl he'd never really looked at me like that. we had a long conversation that went on for a few days. Finally he said that he wanted to concentrate on himself for a while, but that he didnt say 'no' to us being together in the future.Well whilst he was concentrating on himself i found someone. He's everything a girl could want, like one of those guys from a love film, or book. he's perfect in every way. I do love him, i love him with everything i have. I couldnt bare to lose him.Me and my best friend didnt talk for a bout a year. So i guess hes not my best friend anymore, huh. Anyway a few weeks ago i saw him, he pulled up next to me in his car and asked me to get in, i did and we went for a nice long drive. We talked and caught up with each other. I told him about my boyfriend and how muh i love him, he got angry and we argued. Everntually he dropped me off at home and i was so confused. That wasnt the only thing that confused me- he then went and talked ot one of my girly friends and asked her if i really loved this guy, and how could i love my boyfriend if id loved him in my past.He onfused me and my body also confused me, when i saw him my heart started to rae and i felt dizzy, and had butter flies. I'm so confused, ive prayed for this feeling to go away but i cant get him off of my mind. I dont want to feel this way for him, i love my boyfriend. He was my first everything. My first love, my first kiss, my first lover. I feel horrible for feeling that crush come back for my best friend, i feel like im betraying my boyfrined but it wont leave.please if you could give me any advice i would be grateful. Its tearing me apart and i know my boyfriends going to notice something is wrong even if i try to hide it, he knows me too well.please, please help me. i need to get these feelings to stop, im so depressed. an you please give your opinions on why my best friend acted a she did and how i can get rid of these feelings i have for him.
View related questions:
best friend, crush, depressed, fell in love, split up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (23 April 2011):
Well. Your friend is being ridiculous when being mad at you for falling in love, after he told you he saw you like a friend (not a girlfriend). Come on, what was he waiting for? Just because you loved him in the past and even after he rejected you, you should be waiting for him in case he feel like it?You were in your own right when fell in love with you current boyfriend. If you love your boyfriend cut all contact with your ex-best-friend and you will see all those confusing feelings disappear.
A
female
reader, Artistry  +, writes (23 April 2011):
 Hi there, You gave your old friend the chance to be with you, he wanted time and space, you complied. Now he's back, but is he really? I think that he is jealous because he thought that you would be sitting by the window, waiting for him to show up. Besides that, you have no idea what he wants to do, he may not either. Do not jeopardize your relationship with your boyfriend who appreciates what he has in you. Your old friend didn't. He may have been your first real crush and it's hard maybe to get over it, but if you keep moving forward and don't look back, you will be fine. Put your effort into your current relationship. You seem to have a good guy, don't reach for something that may not be anything at all. Good luck, keep moving.
...............................
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (23 April 2011):
 It's about the myth that anything hard to get is always more valuable. But how true can this be? Think of things in real life that are hard to get. There's old junk, out of print materials sold on ebay everyday, but are they really that valuable? Or think of your things you haven't touched for a long time, hidden in your basement. You have to dig or climb to get those things. Does that mean they are valuable because they are hard to get? You lost him the first time because he got a girlfriend. You lost him a second time because you got a boyfriend. Your boyfriend is the real thing while this guy is an illusion, the perfect elusive guy you never got the chance to know. There are only two ways to get rid of old feelings. One is to become this guy's girlfriend so you see him as who he is, just a normal guy with faults and all, not a fantasy. The second way which you will probably follow is to cut contact with this guy and be happy and appreciate your boyfriend. Your friend is upset because he thought you would wait for him. He lost the sense of control in his life because he realizes this world is first come first serve, and the world does not wait. He hates that he lost his chance by acting slow, and that another guy (your boyfriend) won because he's available in your life first. He hates that now he has to experience what you experienced in the first place.
...............................
|
