A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Found out recently my son isn't biologically mine. I always sort of knew that all my kids weren't mine. Still a bit of a shock to know it for sure though. My ex still knows the other guy she was with at the time and it's been proven he's my lads biological Dad. Long story short, he wants to be part of my sons life. I understand that. But my son has taken a real dislike to him. I don't know what to do. Is 6 too young to try and explain it to him? He just doesn't understand why he has to spend time with my "friend". I really don't know how to approach it
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female
reader, Star_07  +, writes (26 September 2008):
 I think its best to tell the child now. Try to explain to him in words that he can understand. Has he asked where babies come from? If he has, this is definately the time when you can bring this subject up. I would tell him that he has 2 daddies. It might be hard for him to understand but as he gets older, you can give him the details. You must tell him in terms that are appropriate yet truthful.
Kids are very resiliant. If he knows the truth now, he will be much more accepting than if he finds out much later. It would be a complete shock if he was a teenager, if you get my drift.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2008): my nephew is some time in your lil ones position. His mom left my brother when she was prego and got married. So he always thought that the man who raised was his bio dad, but what they did was my brother would hang out with him and be his friend. They always told him that my brother was his friend and they didn't tell him anything else until he started to ask questions. Like why do I look so much like him and why do I call his mom grandma? When he was old enough to ask question and see that things were a lil off then it was old enough to know the truth. I wouldn't wait until he got to old because then he might not be so accepting to it.
My nephew now knows that my brother is his bio dad but the guy you raised him is his daddy.
My advice is to wait until he see's the differences and tell him that his bio dad is HIS friend.
I hope that all of this is helpful.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2008): You have no say unless you have a parental responsibility order. The only thing you can do is work on your ex and convince her its not good for your son. Sorry my heart goes out to you.
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