A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was dating a guy and I got completely involved in him. We started dating in 2011. It was a long distance relationship. In the beginning I thought it would not work but I have no idea how hard I fall for him as the time passed by. We used to talk on phone and that usuall texting all day and night got me attached to him. I look pretty enough and the didn't look that good,yet I loved him with my whole heart. He also visited my city when he was doing his internship down in south. The way he held me,kissed me got me really emotionally attached to him. By the end of 2013 we were not the same as before due to family issues. My family got to know about him and told me to cut off everything with him. I didn't talk to him for 3 months maybe and one day suddenly I got an email from some unknown person who was claiming to be my ex boyfriends friend and he had sent me the photographs of my ex with some other girl. They seemed to be very much into each other(hugs and kissing) . That stranger told me they were dating. I was astonished and called one of his friend and told him to tell my ex to stop sending me texts and asking me to talk to him when I wasn't talking to him for past 3months. He still used to text me claiming he loves me and wante back, but deep inside and apart from my knowledge he was having fun with other girl. I was completely shattered. His friend told me that he was dating a girl because he wanted to move on and forget about you. Then why the hell was he stalking me and filling my feeds with his texts all this while. I called my ex and told him to not to bother me anymore when all he was doing was cheating on me behind my back. I changed my number since then. It's been more then a year we were not in contact,suddenly he texted me on facebook saying he loves me and stuff. I ignored as I am still pissed at him for what he has done to me. My life is a mess. I get so many good proposals but I refuse them all just because I'm not yet over him. In trying my hard but I'm unable to forget him. Please tell me what should I do? Part of me wants to forgive him and love him like I did before, but part of me is still mad over him and don't want him in my life. Please give your suggestion?
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2015): You really got into the messaging, a make-believe romance, and you got a few kisses. That's not a relationship.
Like many romances conducted via internet and smartphone, you get very used to the regular "communication;" until it almost becomes a habit or addiction.
Your family suggested you cut him off; because they saw something about him you don't see. You completely romanticize over this guy, it's all fantasy.
You are denying yourself a chance to make romantic connections "in-person" with other guys, like young women should. So you've become fixated on that guy, and addicted to the messaging. You'll get out of practice interacting with live people; and you'll imprison your personality in your smartphone. You won't know how to behave around a real guy without the practice.
Stick to your guns and stay no contact. You now know he has a girlfriend, and the messages he's sending you is just to enjoy having a hold or power over your feelings. He used to create the imaginary-boyfriend you've always wanted. That's easy to do over the internet. Always saying the right things, but you never really interact with his real personality. Just his internet-persona. A few visits when he's in town, just isn't enough.
Stop shutting-out those guys who are trying to get to know you. Time to grow-up and enjoy romance fact-to-face, and in real-life. You can get kisses as often as you like, hold hands, be held in his arms, and spend time together without a device to link you together. Enjoy your youth, start dating again. Cut him off like your family suggested to you to do. There was a reason for that. His friend called and gave you real proof he's not worth it! You deserve so much better than that!
Good luck, my dear!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2015): He was never in your life. He is a fantasy created by text and email. You need to move on and love a person not an idea.
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