A
female
age
30-35,
*00364009
writes:I'm in a relationship with an assistant manager that I love a lot. So, in order to keep this going I have to keep it a secret from the head manager and other co-workers. So I started flirting with another assistant and his friend that is a cook and the guy I care about doesn't mind I am doing this as long as it seems that there is nothing going on between me and him. But, now this cook wants everything and I think I made a mistake in starting this because I don't know if I want to give it to him. Please help me, I don't know what to do. If you don't understand and want to help I can go in depth with you to help me sort this thing out.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2009): so the cook wants sex in return for you flirting with you. plse find another job, so be adult like and only conduct yourself professionally during work hours.
what is with the Assistant Manager. is he single too, married. why are you hiding the relationship. surely in the food industry relationship bet co workers is not frowned upon too much.
from the frying pan into the fire for you.......so plse be careful
A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (3 June 2009):
 Anonymous is dead on here.
Young lady, having a romantic relationship is bad enough at work, but with a superior it just makes the situation worse. why on earth could you possibly think that flirting with others to deflect them from discovering your relationship would work? That is a no-brainer,but alas we need to learn from our mistakes.
At any rate, cease flirting with anybody. You are a walking sexual harassment suit waiting to happen. What if your relationship goes south? Then he decides to fire you? Did you think about that? Listen, people that get played with tend to get really pissed off when they discover that someone is pulling crap like this. And it is very possible that the joke in the end is gonna be on you.
Being labeled a cocktease is something that sticks with a woman, and that reputation affects all relationships. Many guys will not want to approach you once that reputation gets cemented. On the other hand, that reputation will also work against you in that all sorts of undesirables will be courting your attention to see if they can be the one to bust a nut in you.
Sorry to be so graphic, but you have to be made aware of what the end result of your little game is destined to be if you don't cut this immature behavior out.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2009): The really simple answer is find a job at another place so there's no possible conflict of interest with you dating your direct supervisor, but I somehow doubt that's what you want to hear...so here goes.
First off: don't flirt if you don't want guys to think you're coming on to them, and to expect the privileges that go with that.
Second: I said "privileges" for a reason. Having flirted with this guy (the cook) doesn't mean you are required to do anything with him that you're not comfortable with. Anything. One more time: ANYTHING.
Here is my advice to you...stop flirting with these guys. Be prepared to get called or known as a tease for the flirting you've already done and failed to "deliver" on, if you will.
You shouldn't have to do anything proactive in terms of flirting with other guys in order to "hide" your current relationship. How about simply treating your man like just another co-worker while you two are working if you don't want others to know? To be honest, it sounds as if you have enjoyed the attention from these other men a bit too much. You say "you don't know" if you want to give the cook "everything." If you are in a relationship with a man you "love a lot" the answer should be a simple NO, you are NOT interested in what this cook has to offer you.
Bottom line is you're playing with fire here in several ways. Be careful!!
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