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female
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*onfused30
writes: ive been with my boyfiend for just over 3 months and care for him very much, baybe even the "l" word. he was with a girl previous to me for 18 months and made his life a living hell, she was so cruel i would wish it on my worst enemy. she was constantly texting him up until 2 weeks ago and he changed his number which was great as he was always getting into moods about it and taking it out on me. the problem is now that he is still in a mood because she carnt contact him anymore!. why is this i dont understand? please help
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reader, confused30 +, writes (13 July 2006):
confused30 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to everyone who has replied to my question, you were right, he has gone back to her, but still hasnt had the guts to tell me. His mum told me tonight, dont know when hes going to though. But thanks all again xxxxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2006): He's still got unresolved feelings for her. best to leave him on his own for now until he sorts his emotions out. you don't want to be his rebound girl and end up getting hurt. give him some space, when he's ready and if it's YOU he wants then he will be back soon.
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (4 July 2006):
 It's too soon. He hasn't gotten over her, no matter what he's telling you (or himself).
Broken relationships, and especially difficult ones where one person has made a lot of sacrifices for the other, aren't something you just snap out of. He's still dealing with the feelings of loss and anger and rejection.
However, having said that, he's a complete boob to take those feelings out on you, an innocent third party. I hope he's apologising to you for his outbursts, and making efforts to correct his behaviours! Otherwise, I'd be running for the hills, because treating you with so little respect in the early days doesn't bode well for the future, when he starts relaxing his standards.
Be circumspect about this. You're in a relationship with a guy who's still recovering from a bad one, and he's lashing out at everyone nearby. If your best girlfriend told you that about herself, you'd be worried about her, right? Well, you should be cautious for yourself, too.
The Ex might have been a horrible witch, or your BF might just have told you the bad stuff, so you'd feel he was justified in his anger. That's something that people do to make themselves feel better, so take his stories with a grain of salt until you actually know the facts.
And don't overlook the fact that he was with The Witch for 18 months, so what does that say about his judgement?
The smart thing to do is to recognise that you could be in a rebound situation with this guy. Don't fall for him too fast or too deeply, and not only because he's not treating you very well! People with difficult exes often go back two or three times -- or permanently! -- because some aspect of the bad relationship fills a need for them.
Think about yourself, and steel your heart, at least for the next six months, until you see where this is heading.
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