A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi all,I've met a girl over the internet and today we met face to face for the first time. We've been flirting by text messages and on the phone a couple of times and today was our first chance to see if we're compatible.She's a nice girl, friendly, chatty, lovely personality... I'm just not sure I'm attracted to her physically and I feel terrible for it. I don't know if she has some sort of skin condition, but her face has a few.. blotches, some of which are quite big and it's a bit of a turn off for me. I don't know whether that makes me shallow or what. Like I say, I feel horrible admitting that something physical is putting me off dating her. I feel like I'm a bad person because of it. Am I?It was good date overall and I'd quite like to meet her again, and she's made it very clear that she likes me and really wants to meet up again very soon. I'm just not sure how much of an issue her appearance is for me and it isn't something I can talk to her about because it's an extremely sensitive issue, so can somebody please advise me? Thanks in advance!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2010): Well a first date is a no-strings attached affair. You meet up with a person to see how the chemistry flairs between you two and glimpse into a little of a person's character and behavior. If you're not so attracted to her, well...it happens. I suggest you don't lead her on meaning no sexual talks/texts, no cutesy messages etc. You like her and do want to spend time with her so work to develop a friendship and who knows? If that friendship catches fire, you might feel yourself overlooking what did not attract you. I remember a guy in middle school who had terrible acne and I didn't feel attracted but he was soo funny and cool and smart that after a bit, I started crushing and noticing other things like his hair and stunning eyes. You're not bad! But you know, it could be an allergy or something easily fixed with meds. Dont let go cause of it!
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