A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi I need help my ex of four years left me seven months ago, three months before our wedding beause he said that it would always be in the back of his mind he's never dated anyone else and he could't marry me until he knew for sure I was the right one for him. So he needed to date others to find this out, he says he still loves me and believes we have a chance of getting back together but not until he does this first, and he told me not to wait on him because there's no guarantee we will get back together. I am still madley in love with him and can't seem to move on and I think part of it is because this came of the blue we made a great couple and we weren't having problems and we were both happy about to get married. I want him back so bad I don't know what to do. Any advice?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2009): Hey thanks for the advice, I know it's what needs to be done but sometimes I don't feel like I'm strong enough to make it through. I think about him everyday no matter what I do I wish I could make it disappear. I don't think his main objective is to sleep around he's not that type of guy, he's just never dated anyone else and doesn't want to get married unless he knows it's the ight thing to do. In one way I understand and in other ways I don't, he said if he did't do this know it would just come up again in a few years after marriage, kids, and buying a house and that'll be a lot harder than ho it happen know, which he's right and I give him credit for being honest and not cheating and not waiting til the wedding day but he could've said something a hell of a lot sooner.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (8 September 2009):
I think you have to accept that he has made a stupid stupid gamble, and that he cares more about his own desire to sleep around at this point than about you.Start the process of getting over him.Spend time with friends, cut contact with him, start imagining life as a single girl and look at opportunities you didn't have when you were tied down with him.If he comes back then make him BEG and WORK to get you back. If he doesn't then you will at least have started to move on and not wasted time hanging around for him.One thing is for certain, if you follow him and contact him then he will be pushed further and further away.Your best bet is letting him see what a great thing he is throwing away by cutting contact and letting him miss you. (Although if he happens to hear through the grapevine that you are off on a date then it will do you no harm.)Good Luck!! xx
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