Feels like my mum hates me.

A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm only 14. my mum and i had recently had an argument (we'd always have these things) about who's doing the washing and sweeping, unfortunately i was told to do the washing but my washing skills aren't that real good so i said i wanted to do sweeping instead. my mum shouted at me to do the job she told me to do, and so i did. she'd then went off telling me how bad and awful i was, after id done my washing, i stormed upstairs crying my head off. (id even do self harming) because since when i was younger, we'd always have arguments, but I'm used to it. what really annoys me is the way when i tell my mum my secrets, she'd then go off to the people we'd known well and tell them how bad and blames things on me. id always thought to myself, "what if i keep my secrets, all these blames quiet?" but i know for a fact that i have to spill them out someday but i cant cope it anymore which is why I'm writing to you. also when we'd have arguments, few Min's later my mum wouldn't speak to me, wouldn't make dinner or whatsoever. she'd just treats me like I'm dead, id always tell my self to do suicide but i cant do it, my dad, he's really helpful at times, he sometimes come up to me and tell me to go up to mum and say sorry, but its not going to happen that way cos my dad passed away 3 months ago and i cant cope without him being comfortable to me. i also know for a fact that mum wouldn't accept me saying sorry. so id just play her way, ignore. but she'd just go off and be happy and playful to my sisters, which makes me feel really left out. she even tried to use my little sister to replace me.i really want to ask my mum that if I'm not here, then why are you keeping me at home? i know this is a big letter to be published but please help me, don't bin this, i really do need help. what do i do? i cant say sorry cos that doesn't work. please help.

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