A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I know this question isn't really on topic to what this website is about, and it's a pretty stupid question anyway, but I can't find anything else this helpful and anonymous on the web.I absolutely hate using the toilet at other peoples houses and in public places. I always feel that there's someone standing in range where they can hear me going and I always feel mortified, even when there's no-one there.I always make sure that no-one is anywhere near the toilets when I go, or if I'm in a public place, I wait until someone uses a hand-dryer, or I flush the toilet before I go.Once my parents had guests over, and our toilet was close to where everyone was sitting, and I panicked and went to the toilet behind the shed outside.I'm sick of being so embarrassed about using the toilet, and it feels to stupid and immature to tell anyone I know in real life.It's a ridiculous problem, and I know there's probably some reasonable solution to it, but I can't think of any.Even when I tell myself that everyone goes at some point, I still feel really embarrassed when I go.
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male
reader, Hugh.J  +, writes (21 June 2012):
 Tisha, I never knew such a condition existed, let alone was formally recognised. That was great advice.
OP, I understand that a lot of Japanese people feel this way and that their public toilets play music in the cubicles - quite loudly, to cover up personal sounds. Eminently sensible, and cheap to arrange; WE should do it.
Handel's Water music? The Dam Busters' march........
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (21 June 2012):
 I absolutely abhor public restrooms. I bring my own Clorox wipes everywhere. I DO wipe down seats and door handles at public rest rooms and if I can avoid it I don't use public restrooms at all.
I DO have OCD and part of my "obsessions" is a fear of germs ( I detest hospitals too)
The thing is, some times you gotta go. Some times you just can't hold it in.
But know this, no one in the restroom is going to CARE about you going pee or poo. Why? Because THEY are doing the same thing!
Challenge yourself to use rest rooms. Find ways that make it less uncomfortable. For me that means Clorox wipes.. for others it might be running water or listening to their Ipod.. Find yours.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (20 June 2012):
 Everyone pees and poops and no one wants to be heard doing it but it's a fact of life...
your fear is not about the germs or anything like that. your fear is that folks will realize you are human and make human sounds like pee hitting the water or the plop of a poop...
my second husband was afraid of public toilets due to a germ fear that's different... and he would not use public restrooms... it was difficult for him.
so many folks run the water when they go to the bathroom to hide the sound and help them go...
I think as you get older you will outgrow this fear that folks won't find you normal if you have to go to the bathroom...
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (20 June 2012):
 Your disorder has a name: paruresis. There is a website devoted to helping people in your condition: http://www.paruresis.org/
Tell your family doctor as you may have some treatment options that will help.
You are not alone and there is help and hope for you. You just have to ask for it in the right place!
Best wishes.
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