A
male
age
30-35,
*avo
writes:Hi and help. I have been with my girlfriend for 3 years now and a wonderful three years we do not live together but it is getting to that stage that she wants to. We spent last week on holiday together and although it was good i think i have started to lose my feelings for her. I have realized more and more how different people we are. We find different things funny and different opinions on things and on holiday she got upset with me over some small things which i find hard to deal with. I keep thinking it is time to end the relationship but every time i think about it are feel i can't i don't know whether it is because i still do have feelings or i would feeling guilty really upsetting her and i can't bare doing it to her. I don't know what to do whether to end the relationship or have a chat with her but even that will upset her or am i just going through a phase and scared of moving in with me girlfriend getting cold feet about the situation???
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (26 August 2012):
 I'm thinking you have a great relationship you just don't know it, because you are young and this is your first and so far only serious relationship.
All relationships have ups and downs, and there's going to be the occasional argument over something small. You're gonna get that with anyone you date. You're also never going to find someone exactly like you, nor do you actually want or need that.
Having things in common is great, but so is having different interests. There needs to be a good balance between the two. If you laugh at some jokes together, but not all, then there's nothing wrong at all. You can have a best friend with whom you laugh at all the same jokes. But a girlfriend that fits you needs different qualities than the ones you find in a friend.
Do what you think is best, and if you truly don't have any romantic feelings towards her any more then break it off. A good test is to see if you still feel like kissing her, holding her hand, or if she manages to turn you on or not. If you still want those sexual/romantic things with her then your feelings for her are still there. If you rather want to kiss and hold hands with someone else then your feelings for her are not there any longer.
I'm thinking you're having cold feet though. Take your time to think about this before you break it off or move in.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2012): My advice to u is to not move in together and break up with her. Let her know it was a good three years and u want to leave it as that good memories. It's not too late get out staying will only make u unhappy
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (26 August 2012):
 you are very young I assume you are first bf/gf with each other or close to it... at least first "mature" relationship.
it's hard to walk away from something that's been around a long time.
but it's better to walk away and remain civil.
you cannot remain friends... it won't work...
if you are not happy you must talk to her about it.
you must start with "I'm not happy but I'm not sure what to do"
then talk about everything and the two of you can decide how to handle it.
if she says she will try to make you happier then set a time frame for it... and stick to it.
you will be leaving eventually... it's just a matter of when and how.
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