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male
age
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anonymous
writes:[Mod note: two questions combined from same poster.]To save space, I'll withhold a lot or most of the details, but I discovered, without her knowing that I know, that my 50-year old wife is both exposing herself and "peeking on the peekers while they watch." Probably for hours at a time one or two days a week she does this, all the time masturbating rather discreetly. I found this utterly incredible but nevertheless it is true. She arranges things, including curtains and blinds, in our condominium in such a way so that it appears to those watching her that she is only unintentionally and innocently able to be seen from certain neighboring apartments. At the same time, she has done certain things so that at the same time they are watching her, she can see them watching. Not only that, but she watches one man and also two couples when they are nude or having sex. I had no idea of that this kind of obsession occurs with women. I am dumbfounded and feeling awful about myself and my appearance. Has anyone heard of a woman having an obsession like this? -----------Among other problems that we have, my 50-year old wife's flirtaciousness and way of conversing with others, especially men, has me baffled. She will preface many conversations with "...before I was married..." and then go on to mention things she did when she was with other men. She will always worm these statements into a conversation. I know that mentioning such things outright is very easily avoided. Furthermore, she will lightly touch the arms of other men and do all the eye-battings and attractive smiles that are de rigueur for a flirt. We have sex often. I know she loves me. I have told her this behavior offends me. Why does she do this?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you, AznPersuasion, for your thoughtful answers to my two questions. About her exhibitionism and voyeurism, having a "heart to heart" talk with her is difficult, to say the least, even "out of the question." My wife has never been easy to talk to about our personal sexual problems, and so we have never solved any. We just abandoned discussion. Of course, a few things were threatening to my self-esteem, but nonetheless I brought them up several times in case they might cause her to feel dissatisfied. Each time, she only put me off or said everything was fine, etc., using, you know, the little tactics people use to avoid and evade discussion. If she is unduly "horny," that would be news to me. If she has been cheating all her life, that, too, would be news to me. I want to understand her. Then, I will know what to do. I don't want to embarrass her or make her ashamed and humiliated by telling her I know what she's been doing. On the other hand, her flirtaciousness I've already criticized angrily, telling her the same thing you suggested. Thus far, this has been ineffective and I am learning to ignore this. For now, I simply turn my back on it.Thank you so much.
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reader, AznPersuasion +, writes (5 July 2010):
 Because sir, she either is 1. a sex addict or 2. loves the attention. she may be a horny women but I do not not know her so im not sure. flirting is part of what a girl does, every girl flirts but in their own way.. some may flirt heavier then others and some may flirt lighter. If she keeps doing it its because its natural, the talking bout what shes done thing on the other hand is over the top. i have no idea why she would be doing this.the masterbation is for attention, most women masterbate alone in a room with curtains closed. so no one sees. watching it gets her turned on, so its kind of like a symptom of sex addiction. Im honestly going with sitting her down and talking to her about it.. see why and how she got into this.. if you have talked to her about flirting then talk to her again and make her understand that you HATE it, and it breaks part of your relationship each time you do it, that it putts you down and makes you feel horrible. but im just answering this to help you out a little. Do what you want to do (:
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