A
male
age
36-40,
*ryda
writes:My ex of 15 months broke up with me 5 weeks ago, said she didn't think her feelings for me were strong enough anymore. We didn't have any contact or a few weeks (we're at different universities) but over the Christmas period I've bumped into her a few times as we have the same friends at home.Anyway, I thought at first she'd just lost the "spark" but I think she still has some feelings for me. Some girl was coming onto me in a bar and she went absolutely crazy, screaming at me and saying that the thought of me with someone else makes her sick. We then had a talk about things and on the way to find a taxi she was kissing me and saying she wanted to have sex (we were both quite drunk).The next day, we met up to "straighten things out" and she said at first that she just wants to be friends. She then admitted that she does kinda want to get back with me, but is worried she'll just change her mind and doesn't want to mess me around anymore. Fair enough. But I told her if she doesn't want me back then I cannot be friends with her, as I need to forget about her and move on. I suggested we don't contact each other anymore, at least for a few months so we can both work out what's best for us, and on that day she seemed to agree.However, she said to me over MSN tonight that she is upset and "doesn't think she can handle not talking to me". I really want this girl to see sense and understand that I'm right for her! She seems confused. Is it better to hold firm on the 'no contact' thing, or should I stay in touch and try and build on the feelings (however weak) that she still seems to hold for me?Obviously I love talking to her but I don't want to fall any further into the "friend zone". I want to do whatever I can to increase her attraction for me, and I can't figure out the best way of doing this! Thanks in advance...
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male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (2 January 2008):
I like your line of thinking.Quite mature.She seems to be unsure about you and being friends with her may be risky on your part unless you are excellent at drawing the line.She doesn't want the committment part but misses your affection.My ex's behaving in a very similar way.I guess you are stronger than me enotionally so i'm sure it'll be easier for you to tell her to stay away from you.I can't do that.When you know for sure what she wants then you can persevere but for now,don't waste your energy.
Good luck.
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