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male
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*ill23
writes: My ex girlfriend broke up with me in February and said she wanted time apart but we can still be friends hang out, talk etc, over those months of being on time apart we argued because I found myself still playing the boyfriend roll while working hard to fix things and she getting everything from me and I got nothing in return as far as effort from her side. One day while talking she tells me that she tells our problems to her best friend who I don’t like, and I told her that I couldn’t trust her because she tells our business to other people or whatever problems she has with me instead of talking to me about them she tells her friend. She tells me that I need to go home and think about what it is that I really want and I told her that even not being together I knew what I wanted and that was to be with her and I told her that if I didn’t care for her or the relationship then I wouldn’t have been saving money for a ring to propose to her. She then tells me that we need to distance ourselves from one another because she’s so stressed and tired and that she had enough. I walked away and she text me the next 3 days and we talked short conversations but nothing about the relationship. I waited 2 weeks and text her that I wanted to work things out and she totally shut me down saying she doesn’t want to talk about the situation and she is done talking, I couldn't reason with her. So for 6 weeks I left her alone, she hasn’t seen me or heard from me until last week I was driving down the street and we drove pass each other, 30 minutes latter I get a text where she is asking me about where I got my bed from but I never respond to the text. 2 years together I was good to this girl I really went above and beyond for her I was always there no matter what, now I’m nothing to her, she says that she loves me but want nothing to do with me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2010): That's part of the break up process, she's doing the right by herself by keeping her distance, that means she's making a serious attempt to move on. It's time you did the same. Don't take it personally this is just how you do it. You will never be nothing to her, that's not how it works, you will always be a part of her, part of her experiences that made her the person that she is today but physically it's better if you're not in her life anymore so she can move on. Do the same. If you were as good a boyfriend as you say you were then you'll do the final good thing in your relationship and leave her alone.
One point to remember, girls tell their best friend EVERYTHING and they always will regardless of whether you like this friend or not, so seriously put that part to the side, you really can't be pissed at her for that. Telling our friends things and getting feeback from them is how we make sense of our lives and get a fresh perspective on things, have you seen people that don't have someone like that to talk to? I mean come on, you're asking a group of strangers on the internet for advice, she just did the same thing with her friend.
I wish you the best man, you have a tough road ahead of you as it seems she still occupies your thoughts to great degree, but as long as you do what she's doing you'll be fine.
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