A
female
age
36-40,
*mmmmm
writes:well...my ex and i were together for a number of years but slip up nearly 2 years ago, ive been with my current boyfriend for nearly a year now and im really happy with him. But i still think about my ex, even though when we were together he cheated a lot and destoyed my self esteem.. i still get jealous if i hear he's with someone else, but i dont understand it. i dont think i love him any more because when i see him all i feel is anger and dislike, so im conufsed why this is happening, and i dont know what to do to get him out of my head, it a little like torture.
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jealous, my ex, self esteem Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (18 January 2008):
 You need to forgive him for all the hurts and move on. If you have not forgiven him , this issue will torment you every now and then.
Once , you have forgiven him , you wont feel the hurt anymore even though you may think of him sometime.
Try to forgive him and you will see him from another angle.
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (18 January 2008):
 You still think about him because he exerted control over you. The cheating was something that made you feel inadequate along with the verbal abuse. This is how controlling types manage to get away with so much, they make their partners feel so useless that they feel they have no other option but to put up with the abuse.
In your case you escaped, but you had no closure as there is no closure for a relationship like this. This guy is just one of many who go through life destroying the self will of everyone who comes in contact with them - he is poison, forget him. Every time you start to think of him, think of a STOP sign in your mind until that's the only picture in your head, then think of your boyfriend who cares about you. Don't let this arsehole come between you and your new relationship - he would like nothing more than to know you are still pining after him.
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