A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:There is a guy I have liked for a long time who I have cause to see once a week. I decided to let him know I liked him a while ago. We are both unattached so I didn't think there was anything to lose.He told me he didn't think of me in that way and just wanted things to stay as they were. Although underneath I can't deny I felt a bit disappointed, I accepted it and have never mentioned anything to him about it since then.For a good while things did stay as they had been before. We still talked to each other and everything was fine. Just lately though, he seems to have started being very distant with me and sometimes seems to force himself to even say hello. I'm beginning to worry that he might be being like this because of what I told him, but I don't think it can be that, as surely he would have acted this way all along, not just have started now. I can't think of anything else that I've done though.Is there anyone else who has experienced something like this? Would really appreciate any ideas on why he might be behaving this way. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2010): Hi, I do feel for you, it is hard when you like someone when they don't feel the same!
I think you have had your answer from this guy
(he doesn't think of you like that)
Maybe he has thought about it, and is worried that he may have instigated these feelings from you himself,ie: has he been extra attentive to you, or flirted at all with you?.
There must have been some signals which you have read from him, otherwise you would still be agonising wether to tell him or not how you feel about him, unless of course, you are a very confident lady.
To do that with a guy you only see once a week tells me he maybe gave a few signals to you before you made a move, maybe I'm wrong though.
I would never let a guy know I liked him unless I had felt sure he felt similarly about me.
Nevertheless, you have let him know and you have your answer from him.
I would say that he probably feels a little embarassed in your company because he knows you like him, and he has decided to back off a little so as not to give you the wrong idea.
Are you sure he is unattached? Do you know if there is someone else that he likes a lot, after all you only see him once a week?
Whatever the reason, he has been honest with you and you have to accept it, even though it is not nice, and hurts a little.
If you can, you would be best to try to avoid him in a nice way and just be polite and (not over)freindly when you see him.
Put it in your mind that the episode has been laid to rest, he obviously sounds as if he is trying to avoid an embarassing situation with you.
He has tried being freindly still, but now feels he has to retreat into the background so that you do not live in hope.
I hope you can come to terms with it and find a nice guy who does like you (like that)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2010): If you are friends, tell him that you've noticed that you guys haven't been talking lately. I would ask him why too. Tell him you don't want the way you felt about him to get in the way of the your friendship. I would only do this if you guys are friends
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