A
male
age
41-50,
*acksaw
writes:dear cupid question i must be a fool to think women will go out with me. what have i got to offer women i'm got my own house and car but that all i've got to offer it not enough for them. i'm only storeman in furniture store i've doing that job for 20 years now. everyone else can get a girlfriend but me
View related questions:
get a girlfriend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Odds  +, writes (4 October 2010):
 I didn't see a question, but I'll assume you want girl-finding advice.First off, take an honest, not-depressed assessment of what you have to offer. Loyalty, companionship, affection, confidence, and other personal traits are not only far more important than a house or car, but also impossible to take away from you. You natrually possess the ability to provide all of these things, perhaps even at levels higher than other men are willing.Display some ambition. Work toward a promotion, or take some night classes so you qualify for a better job. Until that happens, take pride in your stable income.Secondly, go meet women. Bars and clubs are a start, but you'd be better off at cafes, grocery stores, bookstores, house parties, classes, conferences, or any other casual, fun place where their guard will be down and there won't be so much competition.Go to these places, and start talking to women. You know that fear you feel that they might reject you? Ignore it. Listening to that little voice has not gotten you anything. Einstein said the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over, but expecting different results. Learn to accept, and even love the feeling of rejection. It's their loss, not yours.Third, stop being so hard on yourself. Every single one of your ancestors managed to reproduce - it's literally in your blood. It's been in your blood longer than being English. Seriously, geneticists claim only 40% of all males who ever lived have licing descendents today - so you're in the top half of the gene pool! The ability is there, you simply have to excercise it. It won't work the first time - like any unused muscle, it has atrophied, and must be conditioned up to full strength.Coming down on yourself like that only reinforces the negative feelings. You are teaching your brain to think in negative terms, and it will take time to rewire everything. From the moment you read this, refuse to speak aloud any negative aspect of yourself except in the context of a flaw you are working to fix.Lastly - women will not simply come into your life if you wait long enough. Neither will a better job or any other source of happiness. You have to be willing to go out and risk failure, again and again if need be, in order to succeed. Moping about it will only hurt you and waste time that could be spent working on it.Best of luck to you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2010): dont think like that...some day, the right girl will come and you will be surprised at how much she likes you and all that...dont discourage yourself...and what I believe is that what you think affects what actually happens...so be positive and optimistic...you shall find her soon..or she would find you :)
...............................
|
