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male
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*onfusedDad
writes: Help, I'm a very confused dad in what I feel is a difficult situation and need some impartial advice to help see my family and myself through this...I've been in a relationship (not married) for 10 years which most people think of as perfect but it's definately not - we've also got a beautiful little 3 year old girl. The problem is I feel like I'm in a mid-life crisis situation and I want to act in the best inerests of everyone.I'm really confused about how I see my partner now and I'm not sure I love her - I mean I love her as a person and a friend but maybe not as a partner. We argue somewhat and have so for the last few years and we don't really have what I think of as a close relationship anymore - we very often go off and do our own things. This is mainly since baby was born and the pressures a very needy child has placed on the relationship, I understand the reduction of couple time with babies but we have neglected it totally and put baby as #1 all the time... which has meant almost insignificant time spent together... even to the point where friends and family have commented numerous times on this. I feel like we've done the right thing, our baby is now well adjusted and we both feel proud we've been able to provide the strong foundation we feel she needed to flourish.Unfortunately I feel it's gone too far and this realization has hit me like a ton of bricks. Although I'm not sure this is caused by this situation or the reasons below have caused this feeling in me...The mid-life crisis thing hit fast - the feeling above of being alone in the couple, the feeling of doubt and the feeling of not knowing this is the right person for me, the feeling of guilt in believing I'm not allowed to ask these questions or have these feelings.I guess the feeling of not knowing if my partner is the one is because she is the only one I've had a serious relationship with (and from a young age) - maybe I feel like I don't have the experience to make that decision?!?Anyway the question - is the best thing to do to seperate for a certain time period so I can get things straight in my head and so I don't inflict my doubt on my partner and child... they both feel like they're on a bit of a roller coaster at the moment and I'm the one driving. I want to do the best thing by everyone here so some practicle advice or opinions would be so well received!
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