A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I was seeing a guy for 3 months last year that I met online. We live in the same city, have the same interests and outlook on life. He had just broken up with his fiance when we got together so I started to realize that I was the rebound girl (we were sleeping together), just when I was starting to get develop feelings for him. We broke up after 3 months because I caught him on more than one occassion adveritsing for a date online while I thought we were still seeing each other. He said that he likes me but he is closed to having a relationship right now and wants to date other people having just come out of a relationship. I broke up with him. I guess I wasn't very mature about the way I did it on email and spent a few weeks verbally bashing him on email becuase he never responded to me.The middle of this year, after I had gotten over him, we emailed a little back and forth. We both apologized for the way we treated each other and told each other that we cared a lot about each other. He said again that he was just cloesd to getting into another relationship at the time but that he cared for me. We talked in person and put all of this behind us about a month ago and got back together. He said he wants to take it slow and not rush into a relationship. Everything is great sexually and intimately. We are starting to open up and learn about each other. The problem is that I received an email from a dating website as an advertising spam mail asking me to sign up and his profile was on there as someone I might be interested in. My curiosity got the better of me so I logged onto the website and it says that he has been actively using the account for the whole time we have got back together and have been sleeping together.We agreed that we would take it slow and I know we are not in a relationship, but we are sleeping together (he wants to have unprotected sex but I told him not until we are in a committed relationship) so do I have the right to feel upset, used and taken for a fool?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2009): tough one -- i think the second time you went in, you must know a little bit, deep down that he may not have changed that behavior so i wouldnt rush into feelings of being hard done by exactly, - epspecailly like you say, he has been open and honest about not being ready yetc...i am glad your staying strong in the uprotected sex part, definately the right moveid suggest evaluate your situation -1) if you enjoy the sex, go with it, but dont build it up to more than that2) if you want a proper relationship, move on, hes already shown an element of , i wont say dishonesty, because i think hes been kinda honest, but at any rate, he isnt looking to settle down such as that is, : if thats opposite to your wants, there is a better man around the next bendgood luck
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