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female
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anonymous
writes: I am an undergraduate in love with a guy who recently graduated from my university and that's how we met. We love each other very much. I am only 20 and just started reading medicine, so i have a long way to go.My partner is thinking of marriage.I had two abortions before but now he says we should be thinking of getting married, now he's finished his studies. Some of my friends tell me early marriages have advantages as you have kids early. But apart from the fact that my parents could kill me if i had a shot-gun wedding, i am not ready. I think i might be pregnant again. Should i have an abortion.
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female
reader, Jadzia1127  +, writes (27 August 2006):
 Dr.Psych is right about multiple abortions, it's not a good road to go down. It increases the risk of ectopic pregnancy (pregnancy in which the fetus is implanted outside the uterus), subsequent future miscarriage, and adverse effect on low birth weight and birth defects of future offspring.
BUT Don't get married because you think you are pregnant, the chances of that marriage working is close to nothing.
If your not pregnant you need to get better birth control!
If you are pregnant there is another option: no abortion to mess up your future fertility, you can finish school, fulfill your dreams, and grant someone their hearts desire all at once. Adoption will allow you to continue on the path you have chosen, removes the desire for an early marriage, and as a side bonus it will also give you first hand experience in a field of medicine. Adoption is not easy, but having your hopes and dreams ripped away now or later is harder.
A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (27 August 2006):
 You are 20, studying medicine and heading for abortion no.3...it is time to take some control of your life. You are clearly an intelligent young lady by your subject matter but there is something fundamentally wrong with your contraceptive methods if you are exposing yourself to pregnancy repeatedly by the age of 20. You won't be able to have abortions indefinitely for medical reasons, and it could impair your long term fertility if you do. If you are not ready for marriage then don't do it. Early marriages sometimes fail because people are still developing their personality well into their 20's and sometimes 30's. If you wake up one morning and realise your partner is not the right man for you then it is easier to walk away when there isnt a marriage certificate. You also have to ask yourself if this guy is trying to get you married off because of his own insecurities or control issues. I honestly don't know how you would juggle marriage, kids and a medical degree all at once - I am sure some people do but they must be truely exceptional. Find out if you are pregnant ASAP and deal with the pregnancy after you have had some counselling. If you are not pregnant, see a family planning expert to get your contraception sorted out with your partner. If you are pregnant, weigh up your options and discuss the abortion carefully with your gynaecologist. Only you can decide if you have an abortion but you cannot make that decision until you find out if you are indeed pregnant!
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