A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello all. I'm a college student in my early 20s and I really need some help. For quite some time, I've been having some troubles with my sex drive/virility in general. Whenever I'm able to get an erection, it is almost always at "half-mast", since about a year + some months ago when I was with a girl. I could not, for whatever reason, maintain staying up or even getting fully hard when it came to having intimacy with her. I tried what I thought would help and at some point was given some pills by doctor to take in alleviating (Viagra), but managed to hardly work at all. The intimate terms between us would end shortly in large part to this. At the current moment, I'm seeing another girl (after a whole year) and I'm having the same exact problems. I told her I can sometimes have problems getting it up and would need some time to get familiar with things again and she agreed to take it slow with me just to be sure. I'm able to get a reaction whenever we do some foreplay, but nothing big and when we go a bit further, I just lose all of it and remain flaccid, no matter what I try. She has tried everything to aid me but to no avail and its frustrating both of us; she's quite insecure and feels I'm not attracted to her from this, but that's not the case at all. I don't want to lose her like I did with my previous. What could be the problem for this? It's been taking a toll on my mind recently again. My drive as of late has been kinda lackluster as well and I'm not sure why. I look at my girl (or before then, even other girls) and I rarely get much going down there and when I do, it's not a whole lot, even though in my mind, I want her a lot. I don't understand. Before I met her, the times that I'd masturbate, I usually have no problem, but I haven't managed to be rock hard in a while, and morning wood is quite a rarity for me. A guy my age should NOT be having these kind of problems! It's like my mind and my manhood are two completely separate entities and it's throwing me off.Has anyone else come across this? I really need some insight and would appreciate any advice.
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erection, foreplay, insecure, sex drive Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (17 October 2014):
 Based on your followup, definitely see your doctor! Best wishes!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2014): OP here.
I do actually exercise quite a bit. Started a regime close to a month ago and I've been working out 3-4 times a week. Yet, I've noticed very little change with my drive. I don't smoke, I rarely drink and drugs are definitely not in my forte. I'm not sure what could be wrong. Anxiety might have a little to do with it, but I think it's minor.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (17 October 2014):
Exercise helps, so does eating healthy. Stop watching porn, stop masturbating unless it's necessary.
Seriously, exercise can greatly help. I have a physical job and find myself hornier and my erections rock solid when it wasn't the same before. This is easily verified by googling.
You probably are also having performance anxiety. Very common. Just relax and don't anticipate a result just live in the moment.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (17 October 2014):
Sounds like you should see a doctor. It's one thing to have 'performance anxiety' but you describe not having erections when you used to, either through visual stimulation or the involuntary nocturnal stuff. That sounds like a medical issue to me.
I would stop trying so hard, as well, it's making you anxious and I think that doesn't help at all, as it becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy.
http://www.webmd.com/erectile-dysfunction/default.htm
http://www.webmd.com/erectile-dysfunction/erection-problem-checklist :
An occasional problem achieving an erection is nothing to worry about. But failure to do so more than half of the time at any age may indicate a condition that needs treatment. Are you at risk for erectile dysfunction (ED)? Take the following quiz and find out.
Are you overweight? Yes or No
Do you have any of the following conditions?
Diabetes
High cholesterol
Depression
Atherosclerosis (hardening of the arteries from plaque)
Kidney disease
High blood pressure
Spinal cord or nervous system disorders
Any type of pelvic surgery
Do you:
Smoke
Drink alcohol
Use recreational drugs
How often do you exercise?
Daily
Once or twice a week
A couple of times a month
I never seem to get around to it
How often do you feel stressed?
Much of the time
Sometimes
Rarely
13 Common Sex-Drive Killers
Answers:
Overweight men are more likely to have ED.
Common causes of ED include nerve diseases, psychological conditions, and diseases that affect blood flow. A number of prescription drugs and over-the-counter drugs may also cause ED by affecting a man's hormones, nerves, or blood circulation.
Tobacco, alcohol, and recreational drugs can all damage a man's blood vessels and/or restrict blood flow to the penis, causing ED.
Regular exercise can reduce the risk of ED.
Stress and anxiety are leading causes of temporary ED.
Questions to Ask Your Doctor About ED
Does my erectile dysfunction stem from an underlying illness?
Could any of my medicines be causing this problem or making it worse?
Could stress or a psychological problem be to blame for my erection difficulties?
Are there medications I can take?
Good luck! I hope you find out why you are experiencing this erectile dysfunction.
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