A
female
age
30-35,
*nlyU
writes:hi, please I need some help; I have been in a relationship with a guy that I really loved, and still do, for about five years, things wern't always good and we had some separations but we always ended up together..about a month ago and without any reason he didn't answer my calls and when I called him using an other number he hung up on me as soon as he knows who I was..I was really shocked. soon after that I've changed my phone number and blocked him on facebook..now I met a new guy who is amazing but I really don't want to end up hurting him, I don't know why this guy that I loved the most did this to me and this is making it hard for me to start this new relationship, memories haunt me all the time but I can't reach him..do I have to talk to him after what he has done to me? what should I do to move on?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2011): Leave his worthless a55 alone. If he dropped you like a bad habit, he never deserved your love. When people do this to someone they claim to have once loved, they just show how selfish and unempathetic they truly are. You probably missed the red flags cos you loved him. He is garbage so be happy you are still young. Don't make this new guy pay cos your ex is a major douche. I agree with the other readers about being friends first. Also, even if you found him, he will probably make you feel worse. This may sound corny but time does heal all wounds. Trust me I've been there.
A
female
reader, green eyed mulatto  +, writes (3 August 2011):
 Well first of all guys are not as complicated as women are..
second of all there is no special amount of time to start dating and being with a new person! If he was that inconsiderate to disregard you in that manner than obviously he did not value you the way you valued him for that long in your time together.Even if you were to get the reasons on why
by his actions i'm sure they wouldn't be something that you want to hear...Obviously he has either found someone new or is to cowardly to face you and tell you the real reason he wants no more contact with you!
I say give this new person a try and see where it leads don't let the last man make you lose out on an opportunity for true love good luck!
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (3 August 2011):
 you need closure- find him and have it out with him, OR realise he is a piece of shit and that things were deteriorating for some time.
anyone who all of a sudden without warning cuts you out of their life simply cannnot cope with you anymore, there is more to this that you are telling us. very short question for five years of ups and downs. we need more to help.
you need closure and advice.
dont let your hang ups from before impact your new relationship although he doesn't seem to register too high on your mindset.
find your ex and have it out, or cut all thoughts of him out and deal with it at a later date when the hurt is less. moving on is difficult but you have been given an undeserved hurdle of awkward by this man. he may never tell you what went wrong, but you for one can choose to forget him over time.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2011): You definitely need to try and meet up or at least talk to your ex before jumping into a new relationship. You should never get into a new relationship when you're not completely over the last one, especially if you don't even know the reason why you split up, as it will always 'haunt' you, unless you talk to him and sort it out.
It is very strange of him to just completely block you out of his life without giving you an explanation. You need to talk to him to find out why he doesn't want to see you. If the two of you decide you definitely want to break it off for good, then start a new relationship.
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A
female
reader, onlyU +, writes (3 August 2011):
onlyU is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank you so much for answering; well the only thing that happened before his strange behaviour was that he called me to meet but I had an exam in two days so I explained to him that I couldn't and soon as I will return home I'll call.. so maybe two days after I called and I didn't get any answers and that's it..
I guess I'm gonna send him an e mail and hope for the best, it still so confusing but I'm gonne keep going, thank you.
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A
female
reader, GeneNat  +, writes (3 August 2011):
I believe you should try to confront him face to face. Go to his home and just ask him what the problem is. I don't think he will be ready to get back together since he seems adamant on avoiding you. But at least he owes you an explanation and tell him that. If he still blocks you away then just leave it at that and enjoy your life with this new guy.All the best!
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